Avoid Anything With an Ism

by Jerry Ratch



Gism or Gysm, either way 

Avoid anything with an Ism






If its got an Ism in it

Avoid it, okay?


(Advice for our newborn daughter)


Avoidalism is okay


So you can sleep

With that

That won't get you pregnant

Except during your Fertile-cycle


Oh, you may notice your new

Fertile-cycle parked in the

Garage of Many Hopes

Near the Slopes of the Gods


But just

Avoid anything with an Ism


Avoid anything with an Ism

And you'll do just fine


And then right in front of our noses

There went a whole school 

Of bright blue fish 

And the stingray glided by 

Flapping its wings slowly 

Like the Evolution of the Future 

When the waitress starts yelling at us


“What?” I yelled back

Trying to sound surprised

“What do you mean there's

No Breastfeeding at Hooters?” 

I had seen the sign 

I just didn't think they were serious 


And then on our way out of town

The attendant at the Nashville

Airport parking lot

Gave us one of those looks

Like: “Which covered wagon

Did you folks

Come in on?”


“Don't say anything,” my wife said 

“He probably lives in a

Trailer right down the road”


And sure enough

I read his nametag

And it said 

Little- Tom 


Little-Tom Joad