All About the Guns

by Jerry Ratch


Been looking for guns.

His guns have turned up missing.

He's been looking for the guns.


Looking for guns.

The au-pair must've snuck back in

And took the guns.


And the baby.

The baby must be crawling off with

Guns again.


Or it's the young girl's friends who

Came in and stole the guns

Through the door that was left open in the afternoon.


Came looking for guns.

Came directly to the bedroom of the Father

And took them from the upper drawer.


Where the guns were hidden

Under the paper and the socks

Where guns are hidden.


That way no one will know

Where the guns are

When they come looking for them.







She's cute, but she stole the guns.

When the officer comes

We'll have to tell him she stole the guns.


They came in through the open door

And took the guns.

There was no sign of forced entry.


They just opened the Father's drawer

And stole the guns.

They took nothing else, though they could've.


She's young but she must've taken the guns.

Or her friends took the guns.

They must've needed the money.


It had to be in the middle of the afternoon

When they came and got the guns.

They came in through the opened door.


She's hiding the guns.

She's already hidden them

and the blame has fallen on the boys.


The boys must've taken the guns

Because they needed the money.

They sold them to the fence.







They sold the guns to the fence for the money.

The fence sells the guns on the black market

To people with money who want the guns.


This is the business of guns.

Anyone who sells them to the fence,

The fence gives them money.


The guns bring in more money

When they are stolen

And sold on the black market.


Anything illegal makes money.

The guns make more money on the black market

Than when they are sold out in the open,


In front of everybody.

No one would sell the guns out in the open.

Why would they?


This way all the guns get stolen

And are sold on the black market

To increase their value.


You can't buy honest guns anymore.

Only stolen guns

From the black market.






The Police have entered the houses

And are questioning the boys.

They are asking the boys some questions.


If they have the guns.

If the boys stole the guns.

Do they have the guns?


Do they know who took the guns?

Do they know the fence?

Do they have any money?


Are they lying?

Are they accustomed to lying?

Will they take a lie test?


The lie test is infallible.

The lie test always works.

Science is a miracle.


The liar can't get away.

There is no escaping the lie.

The machine will catch the thief.


The boys are surrounded.

They should give up.

It is best to give in.






The Police said it doesn't matter

That there are no fingerprints,

It's still the boys who did it.


They must've worn gloves.

When they lifted the guns out of the bag,

They wore gloves.


The boys slipped into the Father's bedroom

In the afternoon wearing gloves,

And they stole the guns.


Nothing else was touched.

Just the guns.

The boys took the guns.


And sold them to the fence for the money.







Maybe the Police have found the guns.

Maybe the Father has found the guns

Under the house. In the basement.


Maybe they have found the thief,

And the boys are exonerated

Since we haven't heard from the Police.


Or the Father may have relented

And called off the search.

Maybe no one cares anymore about the guns.


No one cared so much about the guns

Ever before in history.

The guns.


Maybe the guns were never missing

And the Father only wanted some punishment

To fall on the boys.






The Father has forgotten that he hid the guns.

They're not in the drawer,

But they were not stolen.


He hid them downstairs, under the house.

The boys did not take the guns.

He has forgotten.


Give the lie test to hom, for he has forgotten.

They'll give him the test

And see the lie cross his mind.


The lie will flare up on the graph.

It will smolder on the paper

And be apparent.


Everyone will see that the Father forgot

And hid the guns in the basement,

That the boys did not take them.


And they will be exonerated.






The younger daughter has the guns,

Or one of her friends

Who invaded the house and stole them.


Entered the house in the afternoon.

Entered the Father's bedroom with gloves on

And got the guns in his hands,


And ran out of the house with the guns

Into the bright sun of the afternoon

With the guns in his hands,


Going out to rob someone.






Before they came to search the house

We hid the guns.

We were told to get rid of the drugs and the guns.


We drove the guns to a friend's apartment

Who knows about guns.

He said it will be returned renewed.


We will get back guns that are all shiny.

That will be renewed

After they have searched the house.


When they search the house

They will surely turn up something.

Other drugs. Other guns.


Drugs and guns we know nothing about.

That someone sinister has planted

To make us guilty.


They will turn up these items

And arrest us.

Take us away.






It's a holiday weekend and everyone can relax.

No one shoots anyone over the holiday.

The Police all went on vacation.


They're not concerned about the guns

Since this is a holiday.

Time enough to be concerned about them again next week


When they return from vacation.

So the boys can relax. Everyone can relax.

Everyone should just enjoy the holiday.