A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte
by Jerry Ratch
A woman is fishing in the Seine at the far left
of the painting, while time is suspended and light
remains. One man plays a trumpet. A half dozen
people sit or walk under parasols. Couples stroll
and children run or sit or stand beside their
parents. A woman on the lawn is knitting
while she sits with her gentleman. A black dog
sniffs. The tall couple in the right foreground
stroll in perfect and symmetric profile in full Sunday
attire with cane and parasol. She walks her monkey
There is a flower in her hat, and in her gentleman's lapel
While in the background, a couple is walking away
and a woman caresses her man
as he bends toward her. And on the river that is full
of reflection, white sails, long boats
And in the left foreground, a sportsman or worker
in cap and sleeveless orange shirt, smokes his pipe
looking out at the river, as the sunlight
on the Island of La Grande Jatte
begins to creep up his leg made of dots
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Author's Note
after the painting by Seurat.
from my book: LIGHT
Other stories by Jerry Ratch
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this creates a successful visual burst. I very much enjoy it. Little details like "A black dog sniffs" make it. The end is clever and quite wonderful.
"A woman is fishing in the Seine at the far left of the painting, while time is suspended and light remains." - a gorgeous opening for this...
This is an interesting excercise in description and one I'm surprised is not found often in fiction. The key to it is that it's basically a rendition of another, more famous description, and thus the two invite comparison with each other in a way that a description of a natural, unique setting or event would not. Your choice of tense, and the dispensing of some punctuation (making it a quasi poem), to offer two examples, show a real awareness of what you're doing, the basic idea behind which has huge potential.
I like how the imagery shifts here. Good movement. What a wonderful closing line: "begins to creep up his leg made of dots". Imapcting.
Echoing Sam, that last line is an amazing description and shows the real creativity within the piece which while journalistically descriptive, also carries the poet's concise and sharp images. Nice.
Thank you all. I am fortunate to have such close readers here!
..the sunlight
on the Island of La Grande Jatte
begins to creep up his leg made of dots
Good stuff!
I agree with Eamon completely.
really captures the essence of the scene, a true joy to read, not a single mis-step, one of my favorite paintings.
Darryl, Cherise, LA, thank you so much!
Lovely poem! I am currently working on a series of short stories that I call "cover stories," inspired by specific pop songs, whether form, lyric, or content. This poem is a study in kind: I admire the way you veer back and forth between the painting's content and style. Bravo!