Gold

How lovely and timeless this is. Her seeing a flash of his skeleton, wow, that is so deft. It works almost on a subconscious level here, even though the story ends on the happy image of the gift, her shining eyes, the story is ultimately a sad one.

Thanks, Kathy. It is, isn't it? Sigh.

How very beautiful. "..her hands resting inside the bread dough.." Beautiful and sensual and humane.

Beauteous. Delicate. About to crack. I too love the flash of the skeleton "grey and splitting as his hair." Something is feverish behind the facade of the story.

Thanks so much, Darryl and Rachel. I so appreciate the feedback.

Very strong. Sad and sweet.

Ethel, you are growing as a writer tree-mendously (extra e intended). This has the feel of something I'd read in a "great" place and think I need to read this writer.

A fabulous cottage tale, magnificently appealing in its simplicity of elements: earth (silver metal and coal), wind (scented draught), fire (leaping flames), life (bread dough), death (cold bones and skeleton), love (gold hairpin and bright eyes).

fine micro, e... is there such a thing as a 'classic' micro? this reads like one.

Thanks so much, James, David, Richard, and Scott -- I'm floored by the kind words and feedback. (Scott, I think I'll frame your comment :-))

Richard, one of the titles I considered for this piece was "Elements" -- I think I might just have to go back to that.

Thanks again all!

A great flash - delicate, classic indeed.

A love story. Precise and passionate.

Thanks so much Marcelle and Katrina for reading and commenting so generously. I'm thrilled and humbled by the response to this one.

What a beautiful moment of love. This reader caught the honest emotions of these two and I love the earthiness of "her hands resting inside the bread dough."

I really love the way this ends. It feels almost like a fairy tale, which is what I think people were also getting at when they called it 'classic' above. The only line I'm nit picking over is "It's in my bones." That sounds a little cliche to me, and I just wondered if he could say something else, something more unexpected. But other than that, I really loved every line.

Hi Sandra, thanks so much! Tara, I really appreciate the close read and I'll certainly return to that line. I agree, I inferred "classic" as in fairy tale from the above comments. Thanks again.

this is beautiful, ethel. i'll echo the others on "classic."

sharp, coherent. touches on the mythic. . .

Thanks so much, Lauren and Morgan. I'm so grateful for the work itself and your wonderful comments.

What a song this is. Lots of images and feelings in this one tiny space. Especially delicious: "...her eyes brighter than the hairpin, the fire."

Katrina, thanks for stopping by and reading and commenting. I'm delighted so many enjoy this one.

all of the items mentioned, the temp, the flash of vision, the smells and the atmospherics, in such a short space, make this delightful,melancholy piece special.

Gary, bless you. Where do you find the time!!!

It's lovely, Ethel. The last line especially moving.

Myfanwy, thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.

Very nice. Lovely, really.

Ahh! Just discovered this. I'll be looking for you on the bestseller lists.

Grant and Lou, thanks so much!

Lou, you and me both! :-)

this reads like a sigh - beautiful!

Very interesting. The flash of the skeleton is a nice touch, a slice of eeriness and fits in nicely with the story. A lovely feeling to piece in general.

I love that final phrase: '... the hairpin, the fire.'

Julie, Shelagh, and Eamon. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and for your generous comments. Much appreciated!