by Claire King
Ah, shit, Man, she's a peach. I know her Daddy. Rough son-of-a-bitch. Old though. And rich.
She's standing outside the 7-11, skirt up round her ass. Ripe. She could be a whore but she looks way too classy. Plus she has a huge soda - I'd guess diet - and a Twinkie. I work kitty corner, at the Sunoco and I've been watching her since six-thirty. I'm getting off in ten minutes.
I drive the Chevy over, top down. I have to make four rights to get back over there. It's a pain in the ass. She smiles mad, like she's been waiting on me for hours. Crazy kid.
Want to get a beer? I say.
I'm fifteen, she says.
You don't look it.
There's oil stains on my arms and I stink from the heat, but I got Springsteen in the deck - always a winner. Just like that, there she is, sitting right next to me, Her legs open a crack in her little Barbie skirt. All that skin. I'm telling you man; she's a fucking grade A peach. What man in his right mind wouldn't?
We park up on the corner of Lafayette and Tenth. The place is still half empty, strip—lit in blue. The bartender looks at me funny.
Rags, he says. And he pours the beers. Oily Rags, that's what the sons-of-bitches call me in this joint. They're as close to family as I got, though.
The girl's at the jukebox. The whole damn bar is staring at her ass and she knows it. But she ain't playing it. She's put on some goddam sentimental shit. The regulars groan, but when she comes back to the bar she takes the cigarette from my mouth and puts it in her own. She sucks it hard, and she knows what she's doing. Jesus.
I'm a virgin, she says. Just so you know. I hold her hand and she relaxes a little.
I love Foreigner, I say.
Four beers later and she's falling through the screen door. I scoop her up, over the couch and I pull up that skirt. I'm still good to go on four beers. My cock is hard. Not that she'd notice either way.
Who's your Daddy? I say. And I slap her ass.
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This story published on Metazen July '10 with its sister story Peach (2)
Very, very good male POV, Claire, not all women writers can pull this off (sorry) but you do like I do when writing male, think sex - the poor sad adorable guys, they can't help it! Love them! love this. Fav.
I got Springsteen in the deck -- always a winner.
Great line, that.
This guy annoys me so much and yet I can't help but like him a bit. Esp when he says things like "They're as close to family as I got, though."
The contrast between the hard male voice and the girl who plays sentimental shit is extreme. (I'll be curious to hear what the menfolk say, actually.) But I wonder about something Myra wrote that struck me too -- that to write the male POV you must think sex (or are you joking, Myra? I laughed at your line about the poor sad adorable guys). Is that true? I'm not so sure... perhaps I've stumbled into a conversation already ongoing?
Unusual, this. Made me uncomfortable. Would like to read more. Would not like to know this guy, really. Those two reactions are both good.
Thank you both for your comments. I wanted to try male POV and also a different culture (I'm English). A long time ago (when I was a teenager, travelling) a much older guy at a gas station hit on me. So he was the inspiration. I'd love to hear what the men say too, Michelle.
Good writing, a knock you off your feet kinda story, a shocker.
An older guy hitting on a 15 year old? I wouldn't want to know him, either.
Yes, very good writing. I read this yesterday when it came up on the board but I didn't want to be the first to comment on it. I wanted to see what the women would say. It's certainly a valid topic for literary treatment. It happens more often than we as a society would care to admit, I think. Maybe her parents should have taught her better about men. "skirt up round her ass. Ripe." Was she asking for it? "I'm fifteen, she says." And then she get in the car. "What man in his right mind wouldn't?" Men are hardwired predatory animals: most learn to control it through upbringing and education, many do not.
Damn Claire, writing from a mans point of view is hard but you pull it off. As i have a teenage daughter this is scary for me though.
The menace creeps up nicely here.
Excellent male pov Claire and very well written. I felt really sorry for the girl and hope the guy gets castrated very soon.
I am pretty sure I left a comment on this back when I first read it. But now that Peach (2) is up, I came back to see this story.
So enjoyed reading this and really good male POV! Now on to Peach (2).