by Claire King
Your temper was part of the fabric of our house, a stain between the coving and the flock. At night your foul, beer soaked threats and my pleas for mercy were ghosts floating through walls into the kids' dreams. In the morning we'd breakfast on silence and bruises. I felt sorry for that child inside you still fighting some painful injustice — a beating handed down along with patched up clothes, a rationing of wartime love. Until years later, when the kids told me how you'd take your belt to their bare backsides behind closed doors. Bastard.
We made our escape on grimy streets under skies filled with crows, flapping like litter in the wind.
For years you drifted angrily alone. Then the grandchildren were born.
“A new start”, you thought, packing your narcissistic bags and dumping them on her kitchen floor. You were soon boiling over again, but her husband stepped in.
“Not in our house.”
How you raged then, the world proven to be as cruel as you'd painted it. Everyone against you, you angry little man.
She says she feels it too sometimes: the chemical rush of fury in flesh, telling her to grab their arms, shake and bellow and slap. When it comes she falls prostrate, pressing her face to the floor, waiting urgently for it to pass. “Here,” she says, “it stops.”
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238 words
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For the 52/250 prompt 'The Palm of your Hand'
Thanks to John Wentworth Chapin for a great editorial call pre-pub.
Quietly, insistently perfect.
Thank you, James.
I am prostate to this amazing piece. Wow. The first and last grafs pack such a wallop, and then everything in between. Peace *
Thanks so much Linda. Much appreciated. Peace indeed.
Yes, Claire, yes. Good piece of work. Strong closing. I like it.
Beautiful and chilling. Strong piece. Brave and thoughtful.
*
Powerful piece. The ending is rock solid.
Whoosh. I read this earlier, Claire and wanted to think on it. You have nailed the narcissist here: "everyone against you, you angry little man"
This is so powerful it made me angry to read it and then, yes, here it stops. Excellent. Fave.
Very raw. Shakes me.
This one's exceptionally stunning, Claire. Read it earlier at 52/250 and even posted a point on Facebook to it.
great ending, love the POV, "Everyone against you, you angry little man." and other images here. brilliant.
Thank you Marcus. You know I've never used that POV before. Surprised myself!
Thanks, Kathy and Susan, for reading this twice a,d for your thoughtful comments. They mean a lot.
Wow, this is very very good, Claire. Makes me want to run and hide...
Echoing Kate, WOW. Very powerful. Nice images, my heart was pounding as I read.
Beautifully done, Claire. Happy to *
Wow, Claire, I have goosebumps all over. Powerful, understated, wonderful use of an atypical POV, some terrifically startling turns of phrases. *
Oh Claire, this is goosebumpy, jeez, so effective! great work! Favorite.
Just. Effing. Perfect.
Marvelous story. Tugs at the heart. "We made our escape on grimy streets under skies filled with crows...." *
Thank you so much for all your generous comments.
I loved reading this in 52/250 and faved it here. You have a beautiful talent, friend.
I loved the crows and the hope in this; the detail and the philosophy.
Thank you Harley and Beate for your kind and thoughtful comments.
Powerful, Claire. One of the most impressive beginnings!