by Bill Yarrow
18
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19 comments |
99 words
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This poem appeared in the March 2011 Negative Suck.
Thank you, Jeff Callico
This poem appears in my chapbook FOURTEEN (Naked Mannekin, 2011).
The poem appears in Pointed Sentences (BlazeVOX, 2012).
"He was loitering by the cafeteria tray
return, eyeing the cruelty in passersby."
A Jesuit in training.
Love this poem. fave
I am not sure what Dad had to do with the story (which is not a poem to me, but flash fiction). Other than that, it was quite good. Fave.
Very tight, really enjoyed this poem!
*
"Dad was dying. Meanwhile, the blood
from a puncture wound was drying on
Bogdan's palm. He was a tenth grade
messiah, famous for acts of attrition.
I had solicited his help..."
So much said in this condensed form--wonderful rhyme and storyline *
I like the subtle, palpable prosody( bully, school, do...among others) and the slightly( deliberately) maimed rhythm, not to mention the punning "acts of attrition..." beautifully performed, Bill, with substance to burn.
"acts of attrition", fav for that alone... "You only get one" gives me an anxiety attack!
It's a pleasure to read your poetry.
Bogdan scares me. I loved this.
Well done, form and content. Why didn't he ask Bogdan to help him with his dying dad first? He'll be pondering that for the rest of his days.
First three words explain the final three words. A Christ with major rules. The speaker should have found a genie instead, at least then the wishes might tally three.*
Reading in The Great Fires today. The voice and syntax of Bogdan could slip in among those pages and be a great fit. Nice poem, Bill.
Last bit is killer. Nice work.
Thanks, Peter! (Couldn't write on your wall.)
This packs a punch - so much implied in so little. Really enjoyed reading.
Liked the magician act with the bully. Presto, no more bad guy!
*
Bill, this conjures up some memories of HS - I coulda used a guy like Bogdan - where'd you get that name? *
Love the way this builds. *
Excellent. *
Like David Ackley, I like the drag in this poem's rhythm - as self-conscious decision not to break into prose -- noted also by Mark Budman -- though I disagree that it is flash, I like the story, especially the reflection at the end about twice. *
a bit like one of those curtains heavy with beads that hang in doorframes in the mediterranean to fend off the flies. you don't know how they hold up but they do the job and if you pay attention to any single bead you see that it's pretty. don't ask why this comes up...