The Girl in the Storm
by Ben Loory
There once was a girl who was lost in a storm. She wandered this way and that, this way and that, trying to find a way home. But the sky was too dark, and the rain too fierce; all the girl did was go in circles.
Then, suddenly, there were arms around her. Strong arms-- good strong arms. And they picked the girl up and carried her away.
When she woke, she was lying in bed.
It was a warm bed-- very warm-- by a roaring fire. The blankets were soft, and she was dry. She looked around the room. There were paintings on the walls.
There was a hot cup of tea on the nightstand.
Hello? called the girl. Hello? Hello?
A young man appeared in the doorway. He looked down at the girl with a kind, quiet smile.
Feel better? he said.
And she did.
The girl stayed with the man for quite a long time, until she had all her strength back.
I guess it's time for me to go home, she said, and she started to gather her clothes.
But when she got to the door, she saw the rain was still falling. If anything, it was falling even harder. So she took off her clothes again, and went back to bed, and lay in the man's arms a little longer.
This went on for a very long time, and eventually the girl grew very old.
And then one day she discovered on the wall by the door the switch that turned the rain on and off.
She stood there staring at the beautiful day outside, and then down at the simple little switch. She listened as the birds flew by the window, singing.
And then she turned and went back to bed.
In the night, that night, the man woke up.
Did the rain stop? he said. I dreamt it did.
And the girl put her arms around the man and held him tight.
It may have, she said. But it's all right.
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"And then one day she discovered on the wall by the door the switch that turned the rain on and off."
So good.
And the final sentence is damn near perfect.
There's a "chilly" feeling to this, at least I felt it. The part where he looks down with a "kind, quiet smile" is the perfect kind of creepy.
This is well done. Every sentence does its job.
thanks david. yeah, it walks a weird line between romantic and vaguely threatening. not sure exactly how that happened.
it walks that line really well, ben. well done. i just re-read it and got creeped out again but in that kind of way that made me question why. love that.
Ben - how did i miss this? this is something else. the ending is absolutely perfect. the story is wonderful. i am going to tweet it.
Oh Christ, this is wonderful.
This piece reminds me of a beautifully written ballad, as sang by PJ Harvey or Tom Waits, or Nick Cave....
Elegant and warm like a necessary kiss.
This is an amazing piece. It feels like a delirious dream.
Just gorgeous
I love the allegorical feeling in your stuff. I actually didn't find this one to be creepy, since the man didn't seem to know about the switch. Everything is just right here.
thanks everyone, it's nice to hear.
A True Anecdote for Our Time. MaryG said you were a genius and she's never wrong. Well, hardly ever. A minor masterpiece!
Ben! Beautiful story. Magical. It was an honer to be with you in KNOCK issue 11!
I love “the switch that turned the rain on and off” – it’s a wonderful idea/image.
i love love love love love this story.
thanks mary guterson! i just found out that someone is teaching this story in a freshman comp class at sf state... kind of mind-boggling! :)
the tension David/you reference between romantic and vaguely threatening...it had me feeling somewhat obliquely of the Wizard of Oz...storms, guardians, dreams and secret hidden (or not) switches...but with an edge more of menace which delivers into an ending that's pitched just right, happily ever after without the sugar
So human.
Oh, stunning work
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