by Ann Bogle
10
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19 comments |
986 words
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The original version of this story, written as an email letter to the Buffalo Poetics Listserv, is archived at:
http://listserv.buffalo.edu/cgi-bin/wa?A2=ind0601&L=POETICS&P=R11880
The 180-page version might include:
1. Paul Wellstone's plane crash in October 2002 shortly before the election, Norm Coleman's win.
2. My mother an election judge.
3. My absentee ballot misrouted and not counted in 2008.
4. My correspondence with the alcohol-beat reporter in Toledo, Ohio, a woman, the only reporter in the nation to cover ankle bracelet.
5. Inmates in the jail longer than nine days required to test for TB, not allowed to test if there for less than nine days. Tine test at my doctor.
6. Three-story barbed wire fence outside the window.
7. Hay mattress.
8. Inmates in line three times a day to get medications and see the nurse.
9. The nude, calisthenic, rectal search (and roadside ballet in sueded French black lace bell bottoms).
10. Prison blues and grays.
11. The volunteer woman chaplain who asked, "Did you go to college, Ann?" during a board game about life choices. "I finished three times," I said.
12. The beautiful and proud-of-breadwinning prostitute who asked to eat at my table.
13. Weak coffee in the morning, strong coffee at night.
14. The dirty night guard: the infrared light in the eye.
15. Sugar packets smuggled and stashed.
16. Milk for no one, pregnant women.
17. Blue ink on the ham.
18. The T.V. booming.
19. The withdrawal from nicotine.
20. Gum in the hourglass. Clock hand not moving.
21. The woman who asked, "Are you mixed?" in a room big with laughter. Scottish, English, Swedish.
22. Downturned hands and dialect: m'fuh.
23. Cornrowing and pink curlers.
24. Treatment programs cancelled due to budget cuts, so the women could not serve time and get treatment concurrently.
25. I had been arrested twice, taken three times to a police station in my hometown for drinking one beer more than the legal limit. The first time I was 15 and had returned from a school trip to Germany. I had walked out to the park with a can of beer to read Marco Popp's and Robert Raithel's love letters.
26. It was a clinical mistake to be on an SSRI (it caused haircutting).
27. The FBI report returned inconclusive when I fingerprint tested at Girls Write Now in New York in 2008.
28. One of the two charges on my record might have been dropped but the law suddenly changed.
29. Charges: petty misdemeanor for the football player with marijuana in his car who had pushed the woman meter reader half a block on the hood of his Lexus.
30. My lawyer, the former prosecutor with political ambition.
31. Vikings.
32. Vanguard Group.
33. Clay Brown's list.
34. Rollicking Irish happy hour across from the probation office.
35. "Whiskey" plates.
36. Bar soap, Bible, toothbrush in brown paper bag.
37. Stubby pencil.
38. Library shelf hour.
39. Naming the woman judges. (Judges stand election.)
40. Arrest scenes and detailed reports.
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Great writing, Ann. Wow to this. I hope the 180 page version does/will exist.
Ann, now I know we have something else in common (besides being members of the Gopher Nation); I spent a night in the tank for drunken walking. I kid you not.
A direct, blunt recounting - smart and fun.
wonderful, ann. from first to last line. you want another fav for the author's note? you bad, bad girl. i bet you have overdue library books at home, too.
A fav for this, Ann. I love that you write about the Louise Hay book at the end. Very trusting of audience and funny for those familiar with her work. The epidemic of dry skin very important to story. How a seemingly small thing can change a life and how easily we forget that or may not even know it. I would love to read the 180 page version--the details placed at side are fantastic.
You write with complete clarity yet your inimitable style is always there.
Great details. Balanced mood. Of course you can get a job. Background checks are spotty and they only ask about felonies.
whip-smart in tone and detail. your tongue must be permanently affixed to the inside of your cheek, you do it with such ease.
Carla Manzoni writes at Ana Verse via Facebook: "What a big baby! I spent 4 months in a foreign prison last year. It sure as hell doesn't make me afraid to leave my house or encounter an authority figure! She's right about the dry skin though in the UK, they don't allow those things brought in. You have to buy them with your meager wages from the weekly canteen. This woman gets on my tits. Weakling. Grrrr... rant over. :)"
What I mean by "due to the insult of it."
There was no canteen at the jail where I stayed. "Foreign prison" sounds worse than American prison, but prison in the U.S. is for-profit, run by private corporations; incarceration has quadrupled in 20 years, and the rate of imprisonment is higher than in any other country. No worse?
oh, boy!
carrying expired condoms!
lordy.
Ann you're a Pussy! Two days?! Really; really?! I did 30 days once and I don't remember a thing about it. It wasn't that big of a deal. You read two books but couldn't get any hand lotion; oh the horror. How traumatic it must have been. Are you sure this wasn't suppose to be listed under 'humorous'?
Interesting tale. Never been in the tank myself, and glad of it. I totally understand your point about being able to write a book about the experience, though, and yet feeling rather ridiculous to think about it when so many others are locked away for years. Our own experiences always seem traumatic, but then, look at someone else, and we're generally the lucky one.
Right-hand list numbered & other slight revisions: Feb. 24, 2010 at 11 p.m.
I appreciate all your comments. Thank you.
Ann--this is so good and it shows off all your qualities as a writer. It's thick with detail, but it carries itself and the reader forward effortlessly.However I do understand Jack's point. Paul Simon said it best:one man's ceiling is another man's floor.I still like it because it shows off your skill and determination.
This is brilliant, Ann. Great, great detail. And you know exactly what to include and what to leave out.
Two days in exchange for 180 pages equals a great deal. This piece amused the hell out of me. I would have been jarred out of my wits after doing two days' time. Tell Carla Manzoni it's not a contest, beyotch.
Revised sentence: "The legal finding was that I had driven well enough (my childhood friend and I had gone to watch returns at a local pub), but I was stopped about 10:30 because one of my high beams was out for a quarter mile."
Highbeams not req'd by law.
This is a mess, written four years ago the first time.
Thanks to all for your helpful comments!
(except one who had hit someone while she was pregnant)
Bit of a snarled line there.
Terrifying piece.
Jim, that's a sentence to try to rewrite, snarled, gnarled still but factual ... the story was/is traumatic to live, and it has shown in the writing, the syntax impossible! Not one of my finished first drafts, this one.
"A black woman in the TV room who had asked if I were mixed, said: 'The black women are here for crack and prostitution, the white women are here for drinking and driving. I'm here because I hit someone when I was pregnant.' I took her to mean "punched" someone, a cop, maybe. She had held an administrative post with a not-for-profit agency in Minnesota. A woman cop in North Minneapolis had hit a Jewish woman I knew in AA for talking with the woman cop's boyfriend."
< 1,000 words; with the notes < 1,500.
Ann, great writing. The part about the lotion was compassionate and really stays with me.