Boomer Tunes Pop Quiz

by Roz Warren

If you're a Boomer, your brain is teaming with decades-old Pop tunes that you just can't forget. The real reason you can never remember where you put your keys? Too many of your brain cells are clinging to every last lyric to “Fire and Rain,” “Free Bird” and “Sweet Home Alabama.”  Don't believe me? Just take this simple test: 

I saw a werewolf drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vics. And his hair was 
1) gone
2) heavily moussed 
3) perfect

Rikki don't lose that number, it's the only one you own, you might use it if you feel better
1) after a trip to the disco
2) when you get home
3) once you lose the mullet

Floatin' like the heavens above. Looks like
1) Richard Nixon
2) muskrat love
3) the eagle flies with the dove 

Your mama don't dance and your daddy don't
1) watch Dick Cavett
2) rock and roll
3) understand the lyrics to “American Pie.” 

Help! I need ___
1) a Quaalude
2) a new leisure suit
3) somebody

Play me a song you're the 
1) piano man
2) rocket man
3) rock lobster 

The wind was in from Africa and last night I couldn't
1) party like it's 1999
2) sleep
3) fear the reaper 

The answer my friend, is 
1) 42
2) behind door number 3
3) blowing in the wind

Only the good die 
1) on a bad acid trip  
2) young 
3) comfortably numb 

LA is a great big freeway. Put a hundred down and buy
1) a brand new nose
2) a heart of glass 
3) a car

Oh baby baby it's a wild world. It's hard to get by just upon a  
1) couple of Quaaludes and a hot dog 
2) bustle in your hedgerow
3) smile 

I've been cheated. Been mistreated. When will I be
1) old enough to vote
2) living for the city 
3) loved 

Brother married Becky Thompson, they bought a store 
1) in Ohio
2) in Tupelo
3) on the Wild Side 

In the desert you can remember your name, cause there ain't no one for to give you no
1) pain
2) rain
3) blame

“I am” I said. To no  one there. And no one heard at all not even the 
1) bear
2) chair
3) au pair

One toke over the line. Sittin' downtown in a 
1) railway station
2) Mercedes limo
3) tanning parlor

Oo-ooh Child, things are gonna get
1) weird
2) easier
3) a lot more expensive

If you didn't get every one of these right, you're not a Boomer. Either that or you're a Boomer, but you're getting senile. The only upside to dementia? You'll finally forget the words to “Dancing Queen.”