I recently discovered that the man I'd loved and trusted for twenty years had a secret girlfriend on the side for the past decade. We've parted ways and I'm trying to go on with my life.
At about the same time, my friend Judy lost her beloved elderly dog after taking care of him through a long illness. She laid him to rest and is trying to go on with her life.
So we're in the same boat -- kind of -- or at least in similar boats. Judy, after a suitable period of mourning, needs to find a new dog and I, after a suitable period of anger, sorrow and kvetching, need to find a new man.
I've put my profile up on dating sites and asked friends to keep an eye out for great single guys. She's combing animal rescue websites for available dogs and has asked her pals to keep an eye out for just the right adorable mutt to bring into her life.
So here's a question -- who do you think will find what she needs first? Will I find Mr. Right or will Judy find Mr. Woof?
It's not easy to find love at age 62. Online dating profiles lie, or shade the truth. Men claim to be younger and healthier and more interesting they actually turn out to be when you meet them. It's just as difficult, Judy tells me, to find the right rescue dog. They're often represented as being younger and friendlier and healthier than they actually turn out to be when you turn up at the shelter for a visit.
Judy and I have both been around the block enough, man-wise and dog-wise, that we know what we need in a companion. And our needs are surprisingly similar.
Judy wants a rescue dog. Young and happy. Not too large. With the right kind of upbeat energy. But she also enjoys a bit of a challenge, so she doesn‘t want a dog who is too wimpy or submissive. Instead, she wants a dog who is well-adjusted and eager to interact with the world. Not a growler or a biter.
I want a man who is single. My age and happy. Not too large. Smart and kind and funny, with the right kind of upbeat energy. I too like a bit of challenge and would prefer a man who isn‘t too wimpy or submissive. A man who is comfortable in his own skin. Well-adjusted and eager to interact with the world. Definitely not a growler or a biter.
I believe in my heart that we'll both succeed. After all, I have a lot to offer a man and Judy has a lot to offer a dog.
And neither of us is a quitter. We're both very determined women.
2016 was a tough year for both of us. When I found out about Mike and Millie, I felt as if the universe had gut-punched me. And losing Rocky was absolutely devastating for Judy. Discovering that the man you love is a two-timing creep, or seeing your beloved dog through a months-long, life-ending illness will definitely cloud your ability to enjoy life.
I'm hoping for a much better 2017 for us both. A year in which I find the right man and Judy finds the right dog. (Or perhaps life will hand us an unexpected “plot twist” -- and Jean will find a man and I'll find a dog!)
Either way, by year's end, I hope that we'll both have found loyal and loving companions.
Wish us luck!
Amusingly done. I believe, tho, that with the socio-political expectations seemingly prevalent of late, the Flannery O'Connor title might more appropriately be tweaked to "A Hard Man is Good to Find." Sorry, but good luck, Roz!
Best of luck.