He had to leave he said
though we'd met only days prior
and as with any men
breaking boundaries we'd lain
together despite barbed wire
fences, pools with fathomless bottoms.
The morning he split, he thrust
his blue down coat into
my arms, said I won't need
this, but it was a bitter
cold December day I
found the tape in its pocket.
Eva Cassidy sang Fields of
Gold and I can't forgive
her for dying so young. Where
did you go? Still can't listen
to more than the first half;
no, less than a quarter of that song.
20
favs |
1472 views
36 comments |
104 words
All rights reserved. |
For you, Jeff...wherever you ended up.
Published at The Miscreant, thanks Amanda Harris, editor. Also nominated for a Pushcart Prize in December 2014!
Published in RIFT (Unknown Press, 2015)
Sad poem, Robert. Really like the last stanza and the imagery.
Full of angst and missing pieces. *
@ Wally- still a work in progress. Thanks!
@ Theo- these sorts of exchanges often are puzzling. Thanks for picking up on that.
This is the good stuff, Hoss. Real and honest and heartbreaking. If this version I'm reading right now is still a work in progress, man I gotta see the final. Big time.
Thanks, Lil Joe! I appreciate the comments and support, as you know.
"pools with fathomless bottoms"
yes, I know the feeling completely. especially when I read poetry this honest.
*
"pools with fathomless bottoms"
yes, I know the feeling completely. especially when I read poetry this honest.
*
Thanks so much, Bud!
*, Robert. Really good verse. I think this applies for men & men, men & women, women & women.
"...breaking boundaries we'd lain
together despite barbed wire
fences, ..."
Touching and sad. *
Powerful, heartbreaking and exquisite!
"breaking boundaries we'd lain
together despite barbed wire
fences, pools with fathomless bottoms." DAMN! There are no boundaries in a Robert Vaughan poem and that is what mesmerizes and makes them remarkable! LOVE! *************
Chilling in all the right ways.*
Eva Cassidy looms large in my world - and I know exactly the point of stanza three. I especially connect with the anger/ hurt from loss and absence. So true. Good poem, Robert.
Thanks so much everyone! I am so touched by your comments!
Appreciate the honesty in this.*
I appreciate you, Gary!
Beautifully written, Robert, since you haven't merely written about feelings but pulled out our own so that it becomes so much more real.
Poignant, sad and tender. Compelling and haunting.*
@ Susan- what a tender and kind way to let me know how the word affected you. The best kind of feedback. I so appreciate it and you!
@ MGM: Sweet descriptons and your suppoer means the world to me. Congrats on your first review up at Mad Lit Review! A big day, to be sure.
What a fantastic, confessional style poem. So relatable, and some outstanding lines. Fave.
Line after line, this kept getting better, but the ending, the whole last stanza, the way you included that song made it all so real. Nice touches everywhere *
@ Mike- I really appreciate your comments!
@ Foster- you are the best! Thanks for the support.
It is said that poetry is in the breath. The last stanza stuck in my throat, pinching off my breath, stopping my heart a moment. Breath, love, fragile things. Things that leave too soon. *
Emily, what a gorgeous comment. Breath indeed. Thanks so much for the insights, and wonderful friendship.
Sigh. *
Thanks, Beate! xoxo
That the poem is over before it really begins is perhaps fitting. I think a lot of readers have just had flashbacks. Thanks for posting! Great stuff.
Hey Neil, great observations. This was one of those "over before it begins" experiences that leaves so much mystery and undefinable feelings in its course.
A little bit brutal, a little bit gentle. He gave you something, after all. Funny: I worried about him going outside without his coat. I agree with you about E Cassidy, by the way. Gone too soon.
*
Gita, I love your different perspective on this! So wonderful, and thanks for your comments. That Cassidy song is so haunting, given her early departure.
Knowing her wonderful voice, I can absolutely feel your emotion in this poem Robert. What a stunning poem. The song now is half sung, but whole loved.
Philip! You are a wonderful person and writer! Missed you recently while in NYC...I hope your trip was fruitful!
The moment with the down coat really stayed with me. I feel the bewilderment and loss.
Thanks so much, Carol. Means a lot.