The Fuddy-Duddy Writer Reflects on her Fan(s)

by Michelle Elvy


For WB, founder and chair of both WUC,BWUTC (We Use Colons, But We Use Them Correctly) and its sometimes inflammatory subsidiary ALATUT (As Long As They Use Them), and editor extraordinaire who is both passionate and indecisive about punctuation

Inspired in part by FF and MP



The Fuddy-Duddy Writer does not rest on her laurels. She enjoys the festival of fame, but she moves on. She lives fully in the moment, all the more so when the moment is all about her. She grants interviews, collects fanmail, never says no to a television appearance. She also takes to heart her fans' comments, and sometimes even replies.

When one fan recently tried to send her a link to "I Got to Get My Name Up in Lights,” she replied by recording her own rendition of the Broadway hit tune "When I Get My Name in Lights" (http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/theboyfromoz/whenigetmynameinlights.htm) and sending it to him. The fan's heart was in the right place, but The Meters are too hip for the Fuddy Duddy writer, even if her nimble knees are kicking it up this morning as she smiles fondly at the very idea of sitting on a flagpole.

The Fuddy Duddy writer deeply appreciates the fan so devoted to her cause, who sent her this poem today:


I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Who can understand anything they text or say?
They a disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy punctuators!
While we're on the subject:
You can text and twitter till your face is blue!
But they still keypad what they want to do!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect punctualists in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?


The Fuddy Duddy Writer is committed to her calling and carries a red pen at all times, as red as her Red Rocket lipstick.

The Fuddy Duddy Writer feels for her fan who wrote the following to her in an early morning email:

"You actually may be the one person who can make a life of abandon on a boat sailing around the world as boring and mundane as in suburbia."

She knows he struggles, this fan, with his own desire to see his name up in lights, and so she ignores his attempt at wit. The Fuddy Duddy Writer does not do wit.

The Fuddy Duddy Writer is working on her memoir, "Life and Love with a Clean Colon."

The Fuddy Duddy Writer has only one fan.