The Fuddy-Duddy Writer Reflects on her Fan(s)
For WB, founder and chair of both WUC,BWUTC (We Use Colons, But We Use Them Correctly) and its sometimes inflammatory subsidiary ALATUT (As Long As They Use Them), and editor extraordinaire who is both passionate and indecisive about punctuation
Inspired in part by FF and MP
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The Fuddy-Duddy Writer does not rest on her laurels. She enjoys the festival of fame, but she moves on. She lives fully in the moment, all the more so when the moment is all about her. She grants interviews, collects fanmail, never says no to a television appearance. She also takes to heart her fans' comments, and sometimes even replies.
When one fan recently tried to send her a link to "I Got to Get My Name Up in Lights,” she replied by recording her own rendition of the Broadway hit tune "When I Get My Name in Lights" (http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/theboyfromoz/whenigetmynameinlights.htm) and sending it to him. The fan's heart was in the right place, but The Meters are too hip for the Fuddy Duddy writer, even if her nimble knees are kicking it up this morning as she smiles fondly at the very idea of sitting on a flagpole.
The Fuddy Duddy writer deeply appreciates the fan so devoted to her cause, who sent her this poem today:
Kids!
I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids!
Who can understand anything they text or say?
Kids!
They a disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy punctuators!
While we're on the subject:
Kids!
You can text and twitter till your face is blue!
Kids!
But they still keypad what they want to do!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect punctualists in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?
Kids!
The Fuddy Duddy Writer is committed to her calling and carries a red pen at all times, as red as her Red Rocket lipstick.
The Fuddy Duddy Writer feels for her fan who wrote the following to her in an early morning email:
"You actually may be the one person who can make a life of abandon on a boat sailing around the world as boring and mundane as in suburbia."
She knows he struggles, this fan, with his own desire to see his name up in lights, and so she ignores his attempt at wit. The Fuddy Duddy Writer does not do wit.
The Fuddy Duddy Writer is working on her memoir, "Life and Love with a Clean Colon."
The Fuddy Duddy Writer has only one fan.
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Author's Note
inspired by today's Love, Fest. Thanks to everyone, really!! :)
Other stories by Michelle Elvy
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Two fans :-)
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Aw, thanks, Myra. It's all Walt's fault.
The Fuddy Duddy reader likes this piece. I know I do. A great mix at work here, Michelle. Great take to move - what's become Fictionaut genre/series - into another stream.
Hee. Enjoyed this.
Thanks Sam and Catherine. This was fun to write, woke me right up this morning.
I think we can all see ourselves in this one. Oh, but for one fan (I suspect you have at least 3). Love the jumble of form and style here. Peace...
I don't know what's going on between you and WB, but so so funny!
Fun and well done, Michelle!
Love this! You have at least two fans, and I'm so fat these days that I probably count for at least 1.6 fans.
I saw Hugh Jackman in the Boy from Oz on Broadway in 2004, and he was flirting with me shamelessly from the stage.
As to Fuddy's assertion that The Fan has a desire for his own name up in lights, may it be noted that he has attained heights only her flag-pole sitting butt could wish for. While she is currently soaking up in the self-conratulatory "Love, Fest", for lo these past 40 years The Fan has been immortalized on this poster that was seen in every head shop in the World That Matters. Here is the map, you can click on the "population" link to see his "Name up in lights" amongst luminaries such as John Lennon and Soupy Sales (search on this page for bjorkman). Oh, and The Fan was not aware until the new Millenium that he was even on there, so much for wanting to be as Vain as Fuddy.
http://www.humbead.com/hmbmap.html
Linda, Cherise, Christian, John, thanks for seeing the fun in this. Nothin' like a cranky fan to get a writer going...
WB: will get back to you later. The Fuddy-Duddy Writer has other fans now whom she needs to kiss up to.
And John: you've just got to write up your encounter with Mr. Jackman. You'll have your readers (boys and girls both) howling and drooling no doubt.
I have to echo what some others have said - this is a really fun piece. But I would like to add, in my own words, that it has the added benefit of haven been a wonderful result of high craft. Well done!