Grey clouds tangled in leafless tree limbs and telephone lines. Gertrude twisted the watch, puzzling at the liver patches circling her wrist. Almost noon -- where was the bus? If she was late who would feed Norry her tomato soup and animal cracker lunch? Who would put her down for her afternoon nap?
The wind whipped leaves into an eddy of bronze and carried the raw smell of impending rain. Perhaps she should not have tarried for coffee after her shift -- her co-workers were such awful gossips. But what wicked fun. And she deserved some fun, Gertrude thought. She worked hard to put the potatoes in the larder.
A bus rumbled past. The Number 9 to City Square. Panic wormed through her stomach and seeped to her chest. Where was the 55 to home? Raindrops splattered her flannel slippers. She looked down at the deepening puddle. Where were her white shoes? She touched her head. Her nursing cap?
The sky cracked open. Gertrude hiccoughed a rending sob and sank knee-first to the muddy ground. She clasped her hands in prayer. Mother Mary, take care of Norry and bring me to her.
A siren wailed lonesome. She scrunched her eyes and prayed harder. Behind her, feet pattered closer. Firm hands grasped her shoulders.
“Thank God we found you!”
Gertrude stopped her prayers. She wobbled up and let the kind-faced lady lead her down the street. Something about her eyes reminded her of Noreen.
10
favs |
1129 views
22 comments |
246 words
All rights reserved. |
Inspired by the 52/250 Flash a Year Challenge theme: missed the bus.
You develop this scene well, I see it all clearly. The gray, the scent of the rain. The impending doom, the religious fervor..this piece has an intensity to it.
"puzzling at the liver patches circling her wrist."
Love the way you gently develop this piece. *
A beautiful and expertly drawn sketch. Tugs at the heart strings. *
Excellent capture of this.
(isn't "grey" so much greyer than "gray"?---the "a" of which always makes me think of red, so some reason)
MJ, thanks for your read and kind words. So many folks rely on prayer -- I think it often helps myself. peace...
Kim, thanks for the kind words and fave -- so appreciated! This story was very difficult to tell in the space allotted. Sigh. Peace...
Jack, 'expertly drawn'? Oooh, made my day, thank you! Peace...
Matt, thank you so kindly. Grey versus gray. I agree grey is greyer, gray seems wishy-washy. Though I think it is largely a British vs US kind of thing (and I'm using the Brit spelling). Peace...
Linda, thought I'd left a note when I read this earlier. I guess not. Consider this noted for quality and subtlety of plot. *
(James-- I think Micheal's picture on top confused you, is all...)
love this piece. anything with gertrude in it, really, but this especially. makes me want to know more about gertrude and her flat feet.
"Raindrops splattered her flannel slippers." Exquisite detail, here and throughout.
This is really good prose, and so visual. I'm assuming Norry is Noreen? And assuming that, it's a sad ending for this lady.
*
Really well done, Linda. The whole story opens up around those slippers.
James, noted ;^) Thank you. Peace...
Marcus, thank you. Funny how the names just came to me, I'm thinking a rainy suburb of London. peace...
Susan, always happy when you read my words! Norry = Noreen = Gertrude's daughter = the woman who finds Gertrude. Stuck in a memory. Peace...
Sara, muchos gracias for the read and kind words. Peace...
"Mising the bus" is such a great way to describe the senility of old age.
This story is well crafted and deserves and rewards careful attention. Bravo, Linda.
Bill! You're back! Thank you for the kind words, a pleasure from you. I intended the title to do double-lifting, and pleased you noted. Peace...
I agree with Bill and I love the title for this.
Faved.
Thanks you Gloria! Peace...