Smackdown
by Kitty Boots
a tidal wave
always unexpected
pulls you under
suffocating in jade-green water, arms outstretched
abraded by sand, stinging
you escape by finding the bubbles and emerge slick and polished
where you head for the city, which seems safer
vampires are out, even in the daylight, pale, trusting
they suck out your vanities and collapse your veins
so you break bread with the disenfranchised
cracking fragile bones to get at the sweet marrow
you need the nourishment
but leave hungrier
Lovely first stanza. Then it gets darker ...
"suffocating in jade-green water, arms outstretched.." And that last paragraph..
Great imagery. **
Fabulous *
Wonderful word choice - unexpected, suffocating, awarded, emerge, out, trusting, collapse, break, cracking, hungrier - and the reader follows. I like this piece.
Well done.
Agree with Sam. *
Your most unusual yet. Echoes the atmosphere I'm feeling reading Matthiessen. Deep, a tad treacherous. Wonderful.
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A wow piece, Kitty. Gotta love vampires that "suck out your vanities"!
* Agree with Sam! And a great shape on the page.
Yes, Erika, it does get darker...my specialty.
Hey, Rachna, Jill, Sam, Gary, Daniel, Matt, Jenny, Ed and Arturo...thank you all for the read, comments and favs. You all are so encouraging!
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David, thank you. Trying to find a photo to go with this on my page...may be difficult!
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Thank you, Jerry!