Marine Forecast

Nice. the middle and end really complemented the work.

Now THAT sounds like a bad day at Black Rock ;)

Feral well used.

I like this, just the right length for the subject matter. The only thing I'd (personal preference) do would be to restructure it, something like this:

Thunder made me
feral. The lightning was
exciting, bleeding
behind clouds over the Bay,
rain poured
into an already saturated heart.

Even the cormorants had left
the pilings and I wanted the
wind and the waves to
take me, too, but I stayed,
shackled to the shoreline.

I picked up a stick,
wrote my name in sand.

Samuel, thank you for the suggestions. I am a rank amateur...appreciate all the feedback!

I don't really think in those terms, there's no such thing as amateur or professional when it comes to literature, it's just an evolutionary process and it is easy for any writer to see ways to improve the work of another writer while being blind to their own.

*

I like the last line, a poem in itself. *

Forceful imagery throughout - especially here:

"Even the cormorants had left the pilings and I wanted the wind and waves to take me, too, but I stayed shackled to the shoreline."

I like the piece.

Excellent.

Thank you, Sam and Darryl!

Yes, good stuff *

Thank you, John!

Liked it. Very economical. Could maybe be a stanza longer in the middle, though.

***

I missed this earlier, but being someone tied to the sea, I especially appreciate it. *

Thank you, Daniel. I love my beaches...they're my Prozac!

I had to look up Comorant. But please, don't apologize. I enjoyed this. I taste salted air when I read this, and the sense of abandonment, surrender, yearning, sadness and frailty that I get every time I read such a brief poem is remarkable.

*Is this free verse or some sort of structured poem?

* My God, that first line!

Love this Kitty; has me yearning for the storms of Africa!