by Kirsty Logan
But I didn't sleep well and my dreams were full of octopi
and mice eyes and dripping water and strings tightening on my wrists
and when I woke you were smiling like your mouth was full of chocolate buttons
and the late morning sun was haloing your hair golden but I knew my eyes were crusted.
I wanted to say that you looked sweeter than a slice of ginger cake
but you forgot to put sugar in my coffee and I forgot to take the recycling out
and neither of us wanted to wash the dog so we stared at our laptop screens and frowned
and pretended we were doing Very Important Things but only living things are important really.
I wanted to hold you tighter than a koala holds a eucalyptus branch
but you left the bathroom light on and didn't want to go out for lunch
and like a child I was hungry and grumpy and wanted you to look at me
and I told you we weren't working when really you're the only thing that doesn't need fixed.
I wanted to say that your hands are like unfurling leaves
so I waited until you fell asleep on the couch
and I lay on the floor next to you
and I pressed your palm to my lips.
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NaPoWriMo, Day 10
Mmmm. gorgeous.
Much to like here, Kirsty. My favorite part is...
"I wanted to say that you looked sweeter than a slice of ginger cake
but you forgot to put sugar in my coffee and I forgot to take the recycling out
and neither of us wanted to wash the dog so we stared at our laptop screens and frowned
and pretended we were doing Very Important Things but only living things are important really."
Very deceptive in its simple beauty. Great piece.
Only living things are important really. Yes to that. And if a piece of writing proves itself to be living, well then you have made something very important.
I love this title! & that you came back to the title's image at the end rocks.
A beautifully crafted lament with a breathtaking ending. A keen and clear-eyed look at the workings of a relationship.
Wonderfully poetic. My favorite line is "and the late morning sun was haloing your hair golden but I knew my eyes were crusted." Great work, Kirsty.
Excellent!
"like your mouth was full of chocolate buttons" love that line. This poem is stunning to me and i relate to it well especially "i was hungry and grumpy and wanted you to look at me"im faving this.
So much affection in this piece, Kirsty. Beautiful ending.
"and pretended we were doing Very Important Things but only living things are important really" (not a big fan of this line)
and i'm not sure you quite earn "and I told you we weren't working when really you're the only thing that doesn't need fixed." up until then it seems like both people are having issues and being sort of rude/indifferent (the other is forgetting sugar and not wanting to go out to eat)
Beautiful and hauntingly real.
I love this.
'and I told you we weren't working when really you're the only thing that doesn't need fixed.'
That line really resonated with me. Such a great piece, congratulations.
Would you mind if I put this one on Like Birds Lit, as well? :) Your other poem is up!
Nice piece – love the title!
LOVE this! Love all the longing and the sad inability of the two to BE in the same mental page at the same time. LOVE: "so we stared at our laptop screens and frowned /
and pretended we were doing Very / Important Things but only living / things are important really."
And, yes, I agree. We all want to escape and fall into this electronic age, right? But living things-these are where it matters to me these days. Not the image, but the subject of the image, the act or space that creates the image, the real actions in real lives. Super!
i could tell just by reading the title that i was going to like this.*