by Kari Nguyen
AFTER DINNER
Another cycle gone, wasted. She stares into her bowl of full-fat ice cream (just half a cup a day, every day, for fertility). Beside her sits her husband, building a sundae. When he's done she reaches over, picks the cherry off the top, and hurls it into the sink.
ICE MELTS
She broke into a million pieces — shattered — in front of the cat. He later stepped over her on his way to the litter box, still fresh from that morning's changing. It happened between three and five, they said when they arrived, officers in badges and detectives in ties.
Barefoot, and careful, she'd taken small steps. White linoleum in a dark room, her final thought. Ice melts and leaves a small puddle, the only sign it ever was. A still moment can pass many hours.
The cat looks on from a distant corner, tail twitching. He knows two things. Her name was Bess, and there was no one left to scoop.
A SAGE IN THE COPSE
“Change it!” The young man screams it into the night. Owls hear him, and rise higher.
“Can't you see?” He falls to his knees in dark earth. Stains unseen, but there.
The old man listens, up the knoll and through the trees. He sits outside his house, a makeshift, ramshackle arrangement of boards and branches, tied by rope to a tree trunk, and covered in blue tarp. He crosses himself, and shouts back.
“You idiot!” He is giggling now, to himself.
The young man raises his head, sees trees swaying, their outlines confused with the sky. The wind brings a voice, and dim echoes.
Tiptoeing away, the old man lights his step with a glow stick from last weekend's carnival. He can't help but smile.
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Very short fiction, published together by
A-Minor Magazine (July 12, 2010).
http://aminormagazine.wordpress.com/2010/07/12/after-dinner-ice-melts-and-a-sage-in-the-copse/
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Three carefully written, layered, beautifully imagined pieces. Nice work Kari! Fav.
- Father, you asked, where is God in all this?
The priest only smiled, but he knew. You knew he knew, so why was he smiling? -
I loved this collage of yours and don't have to wonder why.
I agree, beautifully imagined.
Fabulous. Especially the first. So much pain and anger and futility in that hurled cherry. Fav.
Kari, these are excellent. The thing we all strive for: not a word wasted; every word necessary.
Obviously, I'm a fan of these, having published them today at A-Minor.
For those who would also like to see them in that published format, please come by and have a look at:
www.aminormagazine.wordpress.com
Thank you all so much for your comments! And thanks, Sheldon, for the link!
Wonderful suite, Kari. Nice work - Especially fond of "A Sage in the Copse".
I like these, and I suspect they're connected in a way I haven't figured out. Was looking for ice or something cold in the last part. Or was it the cat's litter box that prompted "Change it!"?
Nice work, Kari!
Thanks, Sam! So glad you liked Sage.
George, you are very clever. I laughed about “Change it!” referring to the litter box. Ha!
Nice.
After Dinner struck a chord with me.
Peace ~ Rene
Thank you Rene.
Really enjoyed this, Kari. "Her name was Bess, and there was no one left to scoop." Stuck in my head today.
Thanks Melissa! Hope it’s stuck there in a good way.
..full-fat ice cream.. she reaches over, picks the cherry off the top, and hurls it into the sink..Ice melts and leaves a small puddle, the only sign it ever was..these images are fresh and make the reading a joy. The only suggestion I would make is for fun, change "arrangement" to argument: a makeshift, ramshackle ARGUMENT of boards and branches..JUST TO SEE IF THE READER'S PAYING ATTENTION.Cool stuff!
These are all really lovely, Kari.
White linoleum in a dark room -- so sad.
Darryl and Sara, I appreciate it!
This is just lovely work, very mystical and cryptic, lyrical, made me want to read on...
All good. Enjoyed these a lot.
Thank you Susan, thank you Bill!
Love all of these, but for some reason the middle one sticks with me most. You really capture something here, and the cat observing creates a distance and a loneliness that resonates. Really like the images there -- white linoleum in a dark room. That got me. That and the cat watching, wondering, not saying a word. Great stuff here. *
Thank you for that close read, Michelle. I appreciate it very much!
I love the twining of action and detail. Really, just incredible work, Kari.
Julie Innis, thank you!
All three close to prose poetry, Keri. But they're traditional, too -- in a condensed form, all have a beginning, middle and end. Brevity equals intensity.
All three close to prose poetry, Keri. But they're traditional, too -- in a condensed form, all have a beginning, middle and end. Brevity equals intensity.
Ramon, thank you! I’m so glad you see it that way.
I just re-read these on A Minor Group, and they are quite incredible, they seem to hang together despite that they are very different, yet there is that common thread in them of disassociation (hope I spelled that right)
beautiful work, Kari
"Ice Melts" is just about perfect, poetic, taut, leaves a lasting image.
Susan and Judith, thanks to you both!!
I can't fave this again, but I would if I could.
I can’t ask for more, James. Really can’t. Thank you!!
..Beside her sits her husband, building a sundae. When he's done she reaches over, picks the cherry off the top, and hurls it into the sink..wow!that's perfect!.. Ice melts and leaves a small puddle, the only sign it ever was..what a wonderful sentence,Kari!. Owls hear him, and rise higher..original great stuff.
Thanks DP for coming back again. It means much!