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Who Will Play Monica? That Is the Question


by Jerry Ratch


It is absurd to think that a cockroach will wake up one day as a human. And it is certainly surreal to imagine that a fat pigeon in Paris, New York, or Rome, say, or even Prague, will one day take up a pen and begin writing poetry, or wave the wand of philosophy or religion and suddenly make things seem other than they are. But that is where we are today, is it not so? Totally and utterly absurd.

Now, the real question in the movie about Bill Clinton's life is who's going to play Monica Lewinsky? So you can just go about your business until you have solved that and other great moral questions of our era. And while you are deliberating, you can pass me the butter and another round of snails, along with that tiny fork, would you?

Amy Winehouse would have been a good bet, if you wanted my opinion. But I'm afraid it is a little too late for that.

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