The Clairvoyant Dwarf, The Jester, and the Tame Elk of Prague

by Jerry Ratch

All were part of the household of Court Astronomer Tycho Brahe (1546-1601) 

who lost his nose in a duel as a student 

and went through life thereafter wearing a gold prosthetic one instead 

and who met and fell in love with a commoner who bore him eight children, 

and whose tame elk eventually died by falling down the stairs after drinking too much 

while Brahe himself subsequently died by suffering a burst bladder 

after a boozy dinner at court, because he was apparently too polite 

to leave the table to relieve himself. 

These are my people. The Jester was undoubtedly related, and quite possibly 

the tame Elk as well, as many of my ilk have fallen down the stairs of life. 

The Clairvoyant Dwarf, now that got me wondering, 

because roaming around inside my head has been a veritable stream

of little images all my life, and I'm guessing they are somehow related. 

And I've always been trying to tame some sort of elk throughout my life, 

though I was pretty sure it was the Wild Elk of Alcohol, 

which probably lived in the forest right outside my family's castle 

west of Prague. Take the train west one hour out of Prague 

and you could find a sample of my genes there, if not my unwashed levis.