by Jerry Ratch
I had a dream about you once. I don't know if I told you about it already or not. (If I did, I apologize.) I'm never quite sure who you're writing about in some of your stories (maybe a composite of everyone?) but I did hold you one more time. In my dream, I was walking around sort of lost and then I saw you sitting in the grass under a tree. It was kind of high up, overlooking a river maybe? I walked over to you, thinking, "Finally! At last I can rest!"
I sat down, putting my legs across yours, leaned against your chest, and put my head on your shoulder. You put your arm around me and I put my arm around your waist, and we just sat that way for the longest time. After a while, it seemed like our bodies were melting into each other and I could feel your heart beating like it was inside me. Then you said it was getting dark and we should go, so we got up, said good-bye and went our separate ways.
It was one of those dreams that seemed so real, that when you woke up it seemed like it really happened. I guess in my mind, I just had to hold you one last time.
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Adult(e)rated Memoirs
I like the juicy middle. I don't think you need the buns (the opening and closing paragraphs) that enclose this.
"awhile"--should be "a while"
Take out "(?)"
Thank you, Bill! As always, right on the money! A million thanks!
I like the implication of his piece, and the uncertainty.
I enjoyed the feeling and image of resting, and the way it is the beginning of a melting union.
Thank you, Joe!
Thank you, Grey!
I really love the title of this -- it drew me here, Jerry. I think the whole thing works without the last paragraph here. I like the ending image of them going their separate ways -- the longing lingers even there, without that last stated emphasis on how the narrator feels. I like this quite a lot. Nice to come here and find you!