Sweet Sorrow
by Jake Barnes
He sat at the bar and waited for her. He looked at the noon drinkers with indifferent eyes.
She apologized when she arrived. Something her boss wanted at the last minute. He nodded. He knew what her boss was like.
They sat at a table covered with a tablecloth as white as snow. They held hands.
It's good to see you, she said. I hoped you would call, but you didn't. I just got back, he said.
Was it awful? she asked. He shrugged. Yes and no, he said. He didn't offer to explain.
They ordered, ate. She was taking small bites of her dessert when she asked if he had seen Janet since he had been back.
No, he lied. She started to cry. He leaned forward, took her hands, smiled. It's you and only you, he said.
She pulled away. She dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief.
When they left the restaurant, she went one way, he went the other. He didn't look back as he drove away, and she didn't either.
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Author's Note
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This is very good, Jake. Similar to your last piece, but in a much different way, I feel like I'm there, at the table, experiencing the hope and sadness. *
yes, good stuff here.
You know why I love this? You made every single word and scene count.*
Ditto with Amanda. You are so good at integrating minimalist dialogue and scene. *
Beautiful liars. The world would not be the same without them, and there would be no angst for us writers to draw on without them.
The writing is sparse and impacting. I like.
Great compression and tension.
Yes... I love these open pieces where I get to imagine it all... I think I've told you that before.
Great writing as usual, Jake. You do much with so few words. Your silent people seem to say so much.
Thank you.
Good and full story told in the spaces and silences and carefully chosen details.
Compelling and sad Jake. Good writing. A lot said with few words. *
Somehow missed this one. Moves nicely. Good stuff, more hinted at.*
The unsaid sustains us all.
*