They slept in the same bed but that was all they had in common. He, an editor, had shelves filled with literary works and she, his wife of many years and never much of a reader, had strewn their penthouse apartment with Madeline children's books.
“Good morning, Monsieur Editor,” she said, in her bouncy singsong of half English, half French. “Today's menu is made of eggs du jour.”
He sighed, got up, adjusted his royal purple pyjamas, and said, “Thank you, Madame, but I think you meant to say eggs are ON the menu. A menu can't be made of eggs.”
She smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and said, “Ecoutez, cherie. The kettle is perking. I'm making you café very au lait.”
He grunted, put on his polished leather slippers, and said, “Thank you, Madame, but I think you meant to say the kettle is BOILING. Coffee pots perk.”
She smiled, took him by the hand, and said, “Allez to the balcony for brekkie au soleil. ON the menu are croissants. No crumbs.”
He grimaced, but said nothing. She led him out onto the balcony. “Where's breakfast?” he asked.
She stood behind him, and pushed. Over the railing he went, landing twenty stories down.
“Voila!”
She got a croissant and a copy of Madeline in Paris, returned to the balcony, and sat in the sun.
He was tout fini. She would illiterate him from memory.
“I tried to tell you, Monsieur Editor,” she said with ennui, munching her croissant. “No crumbs.”
3
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The first flash fiction I have written.
Submitted to 52|250 group for the theme The Last Time.
UPDATE: Story published in December 2010 edition “The Best of 52|250.”
Quelle joie! This, very funny is!
Anything that makes me laugh out loud this early in the morning is a work of genius.
"She would illiterate him from memory." Love it, Frank! A wonderful way to start the day! *
"she said with ennui"!
Fun piece.
This is refreshing, and has that double entendre of light mood and fun playful energy combined with a darker, disturbing force. Well done, Frank! I enjoyed the piece very much.
James, Kim, Bill, Robert,
For your wonderful comments on my petit déjeuner fantasy – merci beaucoup! I’m thrilled you enjoyed it. You’ve made me feel most welcome on my Fictionaut maiden voyage.
This cracks me up! It's light and bouncy and dark and horrid -- in all the right ways.
This is your Fn maiden voyage? Nice to see you here!
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, and warm welcome, Michelle!
Frank, I read this when you first posted it. After reading it again, I don't know why I didn't comment and fav it then: it is beautifully written and darkly humorous.
JMC, I appreciate your generous comment, and the *.
Ha -- this works on so many levels!