Just duct-tape it, it'll be fine. People go through life all the time with only one kidney, or with some of their female-parts removed. You won't be any the worse for going about with a damaged heart. People do it all the time. You see someone on the street, someone in the parking lot, chances are that person suffered a broken heart once.
There now, unzip your chest, put your heart back in, fits like a hat in a hatbox. See? It's beating again.
Listen to that bird flying overhead and calling, complaining about something, just crying out there in public in the heat of the day. Better than being a day drunk, I suppose. I'm not drunk. I've just got this bottle to moisturize a bit, soften up. Lubricate. It's ponderous this life, heavy and unwieldy and off-balance; and I hate the summer, and I hate the pretty flowers and I hate the women with their quaint strollers, and I hate the fountain where wishes cost a penny and they never come true anyway. I see you, young woman looking back at me from the water, and I know you have a rendezvous, and I know he's not coming, and here you are, still sitting with a whole roll of pennies.
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This appeared online as a finalist in conjunction with Lascaux 500, a flash contest.
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Loving the voice in this. *
I like the way the pace quickens, like a train gathering speed. *
This feels so real, especially like " It's ponderous this life, heavy and unwieldy and off-balance; and I hate the summer, and I hate the pretty flowers and I hate the women with their quaint strollers, and I hate the fountain where wishes cost a penny and they never come true anyway." *
*, Epiphany. I love this. What a perfect close to such a well-told, well-written story.
Nicely turned.
Thank you!
Oooh…love the last line.
That's gorgeous, the end.
Also "I'm not drunk. I've just got this bottle to moisturize a bit, soften up. Lubricate." I laughed.
The tempo, the voice, the reflection at the end, all so well done. Love it.
Oh, boy. Yep.
So much to like here.*
"It's ponderous this life, heavy and unwieldy and off-balance"
Nice!
Line after line is pure delight! *
Thank you for your encouragement!~
I've been, exactly, absolutely this woman.*
:)
nice build up to a killer ending ... very nicely done *
This really spoke to me today, who knows why. Felt like a great conversation. The roll of pennies at the end, perfect.
Feels like you wrote without thought of things written before...that's the best kind.
Feels like you wrote without thought of things written before...that's the best kind.
Splendid voice. Wish I could talk back to her. *
I adore the sassy rhythm*
<3
Lxx
Fine work creating an interesting character so quickly. I feel like a Lincoln looking back up, and I probably mean him way back inside the Memorial.
Thank you for your comments!
I love the way this piece unfolds, especially the quickening rhythm in the middle. It's a fine portrait - great trajectory! so well done... *