“White,” he says.
“Black,” I answer. Then I correct myself: “Snow.”
He doesn't look up, just keeps filling my answers into little printed boxes.
“Street,” he says.
“Sign,” I answer.
He takes his time.
My mind keeps playing his game while I wait for the next task. House Mouse. Trap Escape. Door Window...
“Now pick a color,” he says.
He places 6 cards in front of me. Blue Yellow Red. Green Orange Violet.
“White,” I say.
He doesn't get the joke. Or maybe it's part of the rules: no humor.
“Pick a color”, he says.
“Orange,” I answer.
He takes the card, takes another note.
We repeat the color game until there is only green left.
“Hope goes last,” I comment. I can't help it.
“They are complementary,” he informs me. “If you add all of them, you arrive at white.”
I hadn't known that. Or maybe I had, a long time ago. I lean back, waiting for the next stupid telling question, but we are done. He hands me a cheque.
On the way home, I buy a box of water colors. I make sure that all six colors are included, blue yellow red, green orange violet. I paint them on a boxless page, one after the other. I try. I try again. White, I say. White Sky. Street Crossing. I try and try. But the only places I arrive at are brown, gray, nameless.
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this story was inspired by the 52/250 theme "Union of Opposites". it's been a while since i wrote a flash story - currently i am wandering in revision land - and it feels good to be back to short stories, and to fictionaut.
(the story of this story: i wanted to include a feature on 52/250 in the daily blog, but then got hijacked by the "opposites" theme. the feature is up here: http://bit.ly/amBwwg )
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Dorothee, I love this. I love the interplay of the colors and their simplicity yet the depth of meaning they take on. So very well done!
"I hadn't known that. Or maybe I had, a long time ago."
---nice.
Lang for the win!
Remarkable.
wow, this is wonderful.
Quiet, beautiful story. Love the futility of mixing the rainbow and arriving at brown, gray, nameless. Fav. And peace...
'I paint them on a boxless page, one after the other.'
'...I try and try. But the only places I arrive at are brown, gray, nameless.'
I liked the ending very much. It felt like it summed up the feeling running under the whole piece.
thanks for sending your thoughts on this story, and for the faves. i wrote this story on monday this week, which was a day of heat and odd tension in the air, i guess that played into it.
Oh, this is chilling and gorgeous. The relationship is so fragmented as is the strange "game" and when she gets a blob of blurry dismal at the end, I got a shiver
*
This IS chilling - great flash!
You arrived at 52|250 with a bang, Dorothee. Thank you so much for posting your marvelous story there, and here. Remarkable flash, such complex things stated here with a simplicity of color and words. Love this love this love this. Goes without saying: *
And thanks again for the feature on your blog! Wonderful!
Really nice form for this piece, Dorothee. Such a strong ending to this. Well written.
Nicely done, Dorothee. Welcome to 52/250.
~brown gray nameless.
thanks for the warm welcome for me and my chilling story. i know i said it before, but really i am so glad about the pang of inspiration from 52/250.
and a link -- yesterday, i wanted to write just some lines about "White" in my blog, but then the blog post turned longer, and went beyond the surface of the story. here is the note: http://bit.ly/cEJ5nI
I like the setup. Great end!
Fabulous! This really works. Yes! And love that ending. :)
So much said – there is a lot here and I love it all.
The ending really sings.Nicely done!
An excellent flash told in tight prose. Love the use of colors. Echoing everyone else—great ending!
Nice flash, very creative.
This is a beautiful story. Love how this ends.
thanks again for the feedback. the ending, especially the "nameless" really came as a surprise to myself.
I love the end, too. Good piece!
great ending; interesting path of getting there.
What a wonderful character, and I love the ending!
Really good flash, Dorothea. And like everyone, I love the ending.
Very quite. It kind of sneaks up on you. Like it very much.