Rice
"And now, step into the water,” the tour guide says, “and plant your bundle of rice.”
The group tour, it had sounded okay at first. At this point, I wish I could skip it.
“Such fun,” someone says.
The guide waits patiently like a droid until all and everyone has planted their bundle of rice. There is neither escape from the ritual, nor from the obvious symbolism: our bundles will grow together from this day on, here, in this artificial paddy field.
We move on, to the next task points. We construct a paper bridge. The droid walks across it. We follow, one after another, like sentences in a story.
We learn to say rice in alternating tongues.
“Reis.”
“Riso.”
“Arroz.”
“Riz.”
“Baikoku,” I add.
No one answers.
When we are finally done, there is a buffet waiting for us. White bowls, filled with steamed, stirfried, sauteed combinations of rice and other stuff. There are drinks, too. White wine and red wine. Neon cocktails and flavored beer. No Guinness.
We sit at round tables. I try to play along. I even pretend that I like the jackets we are all wearing now, a liquid green fabric with a pattern of solid white paisleys.
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Author's Note
I posted a first draft of this story in the Hidden Workshop. Back then it was named "Paisley Patterns". The feedback led to a longer, new version of the story: "Rice" - and was published in http://www.metazen.ca in February. This is a new, slightly changed version of Rice, for the Paddy Whacker Challenge.
Other stories by Dorothee Lang
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Love it, and particularly the "No Guinness" line. It's a pleasure to see it here again, Dorothee.
A great snapshot, Dorothee.
I remember this piece, Dorothee. Great work. "When we are finally done, there is a buffet waiting for us. White bowls, filled with steamed, stirfried, sauteed combinations of rice and other stuff. There are drinks, too. White wine and red wine. Neon cocktails and flavored beer. No Guinness." Moves well.
Susan, Ajay, Sam: thanks for the feedback, especially on the "No Guinness" line. it sprang from the Paddy wordlist. it still makes me think of that Guinness poster with an exotic bird that is often up in Irish pubs.
..and now i just looked for it, and found a version online: http://bit.ly/cDYPfe
the bird is a toucan. how toucans relate to Ireland, i don't know.
Yes, the "No Guinness" line is an amusing dig. Or maybe more so an amusing dig at the "White wine and red wine" crowd that your nervous protagonist seems uncomfortable with. Still, I'm wanting to dig into that yum buffet "waiting for us"!
Great story, Dorothee. No Guinness is brilliant.
Also LOVE:
There is neither escape from the ritual, nor from the obvious symbolism: our bundles will grow together from this day on, here, in this artificial paddy field.
this is a stirring piece. firstly, because i love rice and found the whole concept fascinating. i think a bowl of steamed chinese rice is one of the best foods found on earth. simple and sustaining. also i am mesmerized by the texture in a perfect ice cream scoop mound. it's tempting to shove your finger in the top and make a whole for the steam to escape. i am charmed by this story
that's a hole for the steam...
I love the descriptions throughout this piece. The narrator has attitude, which makes the descriptions all the more intriguing.
This story really sparks my imagination. So many great lines! I'm partial to the closing, "I even pretend that I like the jackets we are all wearing now, a liquid green fabric with a pattern of solid white paisleys.". Sounds hideous and makes me wonder.
Ed + Susan: yes, rice! now i wished that stories would come with a food button, and the words would turn into said buffet.
Marcelle, Jon, Carol: thanks for your feedback, it's so interesting to read it. this story is actually based on a dream, one that left me wondering, and followed me with its images and symbolism. i tried to add an addtional scene at the end, but instead of adding to the story, it took away from it.
Very nice. A story written with the teeth clenched. Biting satire.
liked this a lot at metazen, but this is my favourite version, maybe because by way of the challenge, it is anchored somewhere and surprises on one more level now. Paddy field! How irish is that, d'oro!
very nice work, and the flow is great. The tiny words, the rice words, are perfect... like grains.
very nice work, and the flow is great. The tiny words, the rice words, are perfect... like grains.
an utterly sympathetic narrator, 'the group tour, it had sounded okay at first', 'I try to play along' - and all that's observed inbetween.
This is perfect for the Paddy Group Challenge. Such a delight.
Jack, Finn, Meg, Julie + Rebecca: thanks for your reflections. i loved this: "The tiny words, the rice words, are perfect... like grains."
i never thought of flash fiction like this, but yes: rice words.