Removals
Her mother was worried. Her darling daughter's breasts were not equal in size or shape, not even close. The right one was full and maternal, the size of a grapefruit. The left one was a lemon, with a protuberant nipple. The mother was afraid her daughter's ballet dancing career would be harmed by this asymmetry. After much discussion, the grapefruit was reduced to a lemon. After failing to enter a major ballet school, the daughter's dancing career consisted of pole dancing in bars for drunken cowboys.
—Mom, you should have made the little one bigger, the daughter said.
At thirty-five the daughter found a lump in the former grapefruit. After many tests and consultations it was removed, the former grapefruit was neither lemon nor fruitful, but a raw flat space on her chest. There was chemo and radiation and much illness and pain. There were tears on all sides. The daughter survived. She marched. She wore pink. She volunteered for support groups.
The daughter's brother was diagnosed with testicular cancer. His left testicle was removed. There was no chemo or radiation, only pain. Afterward he stopped showering at the gym and showered alone at his office or home.
|
8
favs |
1218 views
18 comments |
204 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
Removals
Imbalance disturbs the eye and the eye informs the mind.
Indeed Gary. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Was planning to say something about vanity, until I read Gary's comment. Then again maybe there's a connection. *
Mathew thanks for reading and commenting. The issue of symmetry, vanity and in this case a mother's selfish desire to help her daughter succeed where she had failed... another more complex and longer story...are certainly implied, but the bigger implication is the asymmetry of the response to a loss. Breast cancer survivors are held up as models of strength and courage, while few if anyone even mentions that they lost testicles, except for the vainglorious Lance Armstrong, who is hardly a role model.
I read it rapt but what hurts. I slept with a hired kid raiser once, who worked in the house with the kids and cooked, and lived in the beautiful, nearly A-frame interior back yard apartment. He was sensitive, happy, optimistic, and so was I for everyone. One ball missing, as he explained to me, first. What a happy face he showed me, that we both had.
I relate, on some level, to the idea of the body not being what it used to be before surgery. Well done.*
Lean, mean. Not a word wasted. *
Male vanity the more fragile? Instinctively?
Ann-Thanks for your comments and the close read. Among men if you don't have a couple, you're not a man.
Thank you Amanda. Surgeries have many unintended consequences.
Thank you Jake, high praise from a master of short meaningful prose.
Mathew-Not sure, but I know certain classes of men perform "sack checks" to see if their buddies are whole. I know that for a long period after WWII a male with only one testicle was ostracized by society since Hitler was known to have only one testicle.
I had a buddy in college lost a nut due to congenital condition, swelled up the size of a softball the morning after we'd been out of the town cavorting in clubs where women danced without their clothes. We blamed it on the women, and Kelly was forever known as the "One-Nutted Wonder." Anyway, liked your story of asymmetry in breasts, nuts, and gender.*
Thank you Gary for reading and commenting. An extraordinary case of blue balls you related:-))
Thoughtful. I'd just been thinking about this (one breast larger than the other), but this is more severe than I imagined.
Thank Steven for reading and commenting. Imbalances and/or absences can be thought provoking.
* Everything's already been said.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Oliver. I always like to see your name in the comment box.