SMOKE
by barry graham
And so it begins, like this, waiting too long for a lazy train out of West Toledo. Sugar white smoke ascends from the broken window of a nearby tool shed. On the concrete platform couples embrace, preparing to go their separate ways, pretending next time they meet they will pull out a map and choose a place, Ann Arbor or Los Angeles or Atlantic City, and that's where they'll belong, where they'll build a life and live happy, forever, like Shrek and Fiona or sharks or birthday party magic they no longer believe in. And why should they. The train hasn't left yet, but they both look eagerly towards the tracks, anticipating its departure.
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OOOOH! Yes. Well done, Mr. Graham! Miniature perfection.
By the way, the title is perfect for this.
Excellent!
And why should they.
or
And why should they?
Lordy. The story of my life: waiting for a lazy train out of West Toledo. Fave!
Very cool, and this idea of smoke, and how we anticipate and deceive ourselves of our fututres. Bravo.
This is gorgeous, Barry.
Love this, Barry. Just beautiful.
thanks ya'llz
Great little piece. I love that first sentence the most, the first six words especially.
this fucking sucks, barry
just kidding
i just don't like toledo, which gave us jamie farr
and katie holmes. thats something isnt it?
In a very few words you've brought a scene to life. Really well done.
Excellent, Barry!