Every time I told Curt to keep it.
Keep it closed, I'd say. Cut it out!
Or keep it to yourself, Curt.
He didn't like me telling him.
He was not in favor of seasonal dictation.
And Curt would say, I have my heart.
And I'd say, keep it, Curt!
This was way before Tammy. And before Trinidad & Tobago.
And before he fucked my mother. And Gladys Knight.
Before he was really someone, you know?
I'm not sorry, he'd say. (Sorry for what?)
Keep it, Curt, I'd say. Sometimes, not always.
When we broke up, he'd say, hey- that doily is mine.
Or that painting of the Native Americans.
Fine. Keep it, Curt.
Just move out.
When he tried to claim our extensive dildo collection,
I put my foot down.
I'll take you to court, Curt said.
Fine, keep it, Curt.
I know I'd have to pay all the fees.
That was Curt. Cheap as fuck.
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Originally written and read for Kate Hill Cantrill's Rabbit Tales reading series in Brooklyn (2013). Also just read in Meg Tuite's TWISTED reading series in Santa Fe, (January 24, 2015). Published in RIFT (Unknown Press, 2015).
You read this one so spectacularly, Robert. Love it. I love: "He was not in favor of seasonal dictation" ...and those last two lines. Perfecto!
Thanks so much, Kathy! It's a fun one to read aloud. Michael Maxwell told me I ought to memorize it and that is a great idea if I wasn't so lazy! xoxo
I love the two lines after the one Kathy quoted. The layering of voices and twists are spectacular. Wish I had been in Santa Fe to hear you read it.*
Thanks so much, Emily! Wish you were there too. Was one of my favorite trips of all time!
Funny, witty and acerbic. Way to go! Fave.
Thanks much, Theo! I know you heard this one in NYC before!
I needed to read this today.*
Amanda, so grateful that it hit home! xoxo
Laughed out loud as I read this piece. Great twists and irreverence, yet the underneath "breaking up" motif make a great combination together. Fave.
"And Gladys Knight." That is so wrong. Love it. *
HAHAHA! Thanks John. I appreciate the wrongness of G.K.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
So happy this one made you laugh, Andrea!!!
"When we broke up, he'd say, hey- that doily is mine.
Or that painting of the Native Americans.
Fine. Keep it, Curt."
*
Thanks, Bud! Glad you enjoyed this rant.
omfg this is fucking incredible. i'm going to print this out and hand it to people at my aa meeting tonight. i think it'll really affect them in a positive way.
Chris, thanks man! You're the best. Let me know what your buds think of it.
The Pips! Why not the Pips? *
Hahaha! Sure, add the Pips into the mix! Why not indeed? Thanks Mathew!
Tammy, Trinidad & Tobago, mother, Gladys Knight...this Curt fellow was busy! Fantastic short spin on the demise of a relationship! *
Got to hear this baby LIVE! Hilarious and brilliant! Robert rocks it! Big FAV! *****
*, Robert. This is so good. An audio must have been wonderful with "heavy" emphasis on the quoted parts.
@ Wallace: thanks a ton! Yeah, busy, busy, busy!!!
@ Meg: You are the best. My favorite reading EVER!!! Thanks for everything and more. xoxo
@ David: You are so kind. I'm grateful for your support.
Would work well at a reading. Good sound and rhythm.
Damn Curt! I always wanted Gladys Knight. Seriously.*
@ Gary Hardaway- yep, this one is so fun to read aloud with audience. Thanks!
@ Gary V. Powell- hahaha! There is more Gladys to go around... or Pips! Thanks buddy.
QUICK AND SURE, FUN AND FUNNY..and positively comes alive. Nice work.
Fave. It was stupendous to hear (and see!) you read this. Like the highest fastest slide at the waterpark on a really hot day, what a ride!
Sally, thanks so much! I was thrilled you were also at the reading, and the piece you read was fantastic! xo
A marvel. Strong, strong. **
Ha. Love it. I really want to hear this read aloud. Such great consonants and cadence.*
@ Sam- thanks for your unwavering support. Happy 2015!
Jen, it's so nice to have you hanging around FN again. And also to read more of your latest work. YAY! Thanks for the comments and star.
Ha!*
Tina!!! Thanks for the chuckle and star!
Would love to have heard that read in Brooklyn! mighty stuff!
Thanks Neil!