Barns And Ignobles
None of us in the barn knew what to do about the lowing cows. Their slowly rising complaint started off as a half-hearted protest but soon gained in volume and unsettling portent.
“Do you think maybe they're unhappy?” my kid sister asked, taking another bite of her frozen yogurt bar. Never one to indulge in half measures, she was decked out for the Xmas pageant in a red suit whose shiny red buttons each featured a golden palm tree.
Go figure—palm trees on a Christmas outfit!
“Hey, watch it!” the minister exclaimed, sounding highly irritated and very non-ministerial as he shielded his eyes and stepped away from the sparkly hanging balls that festooned my sister's jester-like hat.
“Well, what do you think?” I asked into the chorus of cow complaints. “Can we hold our Christmas pageant in the barn or not?”
“Not my Christmas pageant!” the minister shouted back, clearly repulsed by the idea.
“Do you think maybe they want something?” my sister asked, now slurping the little yogurt remaining on the stick.
“I think they want to be left alone,” I answered.
“I think we should leave them alone,” the minister agreed.
“Do you think maybe they're Jewish?" my sister asked, always one to get the last word in.
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Author's Note
My contribution to the December Short Story Challenge. I wasn't going to do it, but Susan Tepper made me.
I like this. It's funny and clever, and beautifully written.
I love that you made the poor lowing cows the problem in the story. Neat and fun!
Jeanne and Susan: Thanks so much for your great feedback and collegial support!
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fab story, so funny. your setting is strangeola yet totally believable
oh, i just saw your author comment about how i twisted your arm to do the challenge. well you yelled uncle but came up with a great story!
Thanks Susan! For the arm twisting and the kind comments. You're a sweetie pie!
Very funny. You've responded in the challenge in a way that will be hard to beat!
Thanks Jon. You make me feel like writing lowing cows into a story is one of my god-given talents. Bring on the competition!
I won't be able to walk in a book store with this title ringing in my head.
The slurping frozen yogurt tied everything together.
Love the funny-ness.
Thanks Katrina. Appreciate your feedback!
The spirit of Christmas may be missing here among the characters! :) Funny, well-written!
Thanks Winnie. It's hard to keep the spirit of Christmas alive with all those frickin' cows lowing their udders off. Appreciate you taking the time to comment.