Crossing is Knowing

I like it, but the enjambment between the first and second stanzas leaves me wanting more. Maybe its just that I want line with more too them. I like where you're going but I want more at this point. There is a lot left hanging emotionally and I wish for a better sense of the feeling.

Yes - 'the mind fields of life'. What's stopping us? Peace...

Myra, a closed gate with a sign saying 'no entry' and the fence gone on both sides is a strong image symbolizing our 'man made' world and 'the mind fields of life.' ... 'but crossing is knowing' ... Yes.

A zen koan. Nice.

Very good. I know a gate just like that! It's in front of an old stone church and I always wonder why it's closed when there'a no fence on either side. But then maybe the church is always closed too.

Thanks Michael, Linda,J, Jack and David, for your kind comments. Much appreciated.

A golden nugget of a poem, Myra. An essence - inviting us to think - to wonder why we are staying behing our own closed gates, when the fences have long since gone.
You're a true artist, gathering inspirations where others might see nothing - and thankfully, sharing it! Fave.

Thanks, Marit. Yes, that's it exactly! Thank you so much :-)

Strong poem. But i agree, it does leave one wanting more.

I do not have the requisite poetry background to comment per se... though Bill Yarrow liked my own interpretation of what an "enjambment" can mean, and my interpretation wasn't the poet's definition of that word...

that being said, so that my comments may be discounted as a non-poet, but as one who is learning about poetry from reading lots of poems on fictionaut...Yarrow, Rasnake, Percesepe, others,

It resonated for me.

The barriers that hold all of us back, in some form or another.

I had a bit of difficult going from

"but you"

"stops"

the fiction writer in me balked at the but you stops.

I think I agree with Michael Healy.

Thanks Cherise.

Matthew, thanks, too.

I LIKE THIS VERY MUCH, BUT i THINK I'D STILL WANT TO PLAY WITH IT LIKE:gate closed without fences. And I very much like the ending, which says tons about that closed gate!when all hearts want to either fly or push on through to the other side because it represents to me--freedom--and also the ache for unity--being one with nature and also each other. Tear down those walls!

A mind field - brilliant. On our road there is a zebra crossing that hits a wall and then a sheer drop, as though tempting pedestrians over. Man made, also.

Thanks, Claire, oh that zebra crossing! I love that sort of sense of humour.

Darryl, thank you so much such insightful comments.

Myra,

I like your poem a lot. You are right that a gate without fences is a great metaphor. "Mind fields" is a good play on words.

OK, here comes the editor in me. These suggestions are offered in friendship. Feel free to reject them completely! I may be way off base.

Call the poem "Crossing is Knowing." (Great line!)

Take out the second half--you don't need it. Everything is in the first seven lines. Add one word for clarity.

"Crossing is Knowing"

Closed gate without fences
on both sides of it
nothing

but you
stops
you walking

the mind fields of life

Thanks, Bill. Good title. And that could be one version. Have come up with a few of my own ideas.

"The mind fields of life" -- really like this play on words here.

Thanks, Jeffrey.

I like it! Nice work, Myra!

Bill, thanks again :-)

No wonder you wanted to write about it, Myra! The image you describe begs words. Thank you for sharing it.

What a lovely thing to say, thank you, Kari. I haven't been on fictionaut for awhile, been a bit busy, so it's nice to get unexpected feedback :-)

I love the image.

Thanks, Beate :- )