Beard-Men
My beard is really a group of tiny strange men trapped on the inside of my chin.
The Beard-Men see light through my open and non-oily pores which entices them in their futile attempts at escape. They stand on top of each other and thrust their tiny heads of coarse hair upward, threading strands through the pores in my chin.
They do this mostly at night.
Sometimes they bleat like sheep when I shave in the shower. They live in a complex social order. I know this because my barber informed me. He has established a small coalition of interested parties in freeing the Beard-Men. He refuses to be complicit in Beard-Men imprisonment.
When I asked him how they got into my chin, he said he'd have to get back to me.
The Beard-Men see light through my open and non-oily pores which entices them in their futile attempts at escape. They stand on top of each other and thrust their tiny heads of coarse hair upward, threading strands through the pores in my chin.
They do this mostly at night.
Sometimes they bleat like sheep when I shave in the shower. They live in a complex social order. I know this because my barber informed me. He has established a small coalition of interested parties in freeing the Beard-Men. He refuses to be complicit in Beard-Men imprisonment.
When I asked him how they got into my chin, he said he'd have to get back to me.
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Author's Note
This was published at LITSNACK a while back.
Other stories by Michael J. Solender
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Don’t they make an ointment for this? Very funny. Quite zany.
zany and surreal, for real. Your imagination has just taken my imagination on a real joy ride - thanks!
This is wild, and it pulled me into its world
I liked this from the word Beard-Men! So strange and kooky, yet very interesting on so many levels. Great!
poor beard-man.
i like that the barber has their basic human rights at heart.
they are people too.
*men, not man!
This made me laugh. Funny and weird. I want to hear from from the Beard-men. Where are they these days? Where do they hang out when they are not near your chin? Do they talk to other Beard-Men? Do they talk to you, or just to each other?
As someone who's had various love-hate relationships with beards, goatees, half-goats and mustaches, I can relate.