Blue Ridge
by Mathew Paust
“Wow.” It came out soft and breathy as a sigh, which matched my own feeling so closely it seemed to come from me as well. I had gone remote after our brief exchange that eased us back to a sense of normalcy after the trauma/comedy of the traffic stop. She'd either felt my need for privacy, and was respecting it, or had slipped into her own thoughts for the hour or so of uneventful wheel time toward our destination.
Our wonderment now was for the spectacle on the horizon ahead. The sun, swollen and going red and lolling above a row of hazy blue teeth was about to be swallowed like a radiant yolk by an epicurean barracuda. The victim orb shrieked richly hued tongues of fire that reached to a docile stratus ceiling far above, illuminating the clouds in a glorious farewell display. We stared transfixed until the sun dropped out of sight, pulling its colorful wake with it. The twilight sky had begun rolling out its nighttime star show before Jamie broke our silence.
“Blue Ridge,” was all she said, recognizing Virginia's stretch of the Appalachian Mountain chain, growing longer in tooth and of a sharper, darker blue the nearer we approached.
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Damn fine writing
"The sun, swollen and going red and lolling above a row of hazy blue teeth was about to be swallowed like a radiant yolk by an epicurean barracuda."
*
Glorious! Love it!
Thanks much for the kind words, Foster and Erika.
"The sun, swollen and going red and lolling above a row of hazy blue teeth was about to be swallowed like a radiant yolk by an epicurean barracuda."
A surfeit of goodness! A sentence in a paragraph worthy of Comte de Lautréamont!
*
(comma after "teeth"?)
Sacre bleu! Thanks, Bill. I debated with myself about the comma, as I'm coming more and more to shun them as much as possible, but now that I've placed this in harm's way, and debated some more, I'm inclined to agree with you. It would be correct technically, but I'm thinking aside from that, its absence really doesn't confuse the meaning. But I'm still considering it. :D
I love the title, the repetition of "Blue Ridge" at the end and all that comes between. Interesting contrast--"...all that she says" with all that the narrator says to describe.
"all she said"
Nice.
Thanks, Dianne and Gary.
Dianne, if you've ever watched a sunset over a distant mountain range you know how redundant it can be to say anything beyond maybe a gasp of awe. It reaches something primal in most of us.
*, Mathew. L really like your close:
“Blue Ridge,” was all she said, recognizing Virginia's stretch of the Appalachian Mountain chain, growing longer in tooth and of a sharper, darker blue the nearer we approached.
Thanks, David. I daresay you've seen that very sight in person.
"'Blue Ridge,' was all she said, recognizing Virginia's stretch of the Appalachian Mountain chain, growing longer in tooth and of a sharper, darker blue the nearer we approached."
Love the Blue Ridge - from the Shenandoah range in Va. to the Black Mountains in NC. I'm there as much as possible.
Good piece, Mathew. Enjoyed the read. *
Thanks, Sam.
If paintings could talk... Great piece.
Damn, Bubba !!
***** +
Thanks, guys.
"Wow." *