leave the dog, take the cannoli
by Kitty Boots
all that glitters is not
booty dust
revenge is a dish best served
with proper utensils
it is better to have loved and lost than have
contracted a STD
a bird in the hand is worth
$350 (Green cheek conure, Petco)
it is better to be safe than
incarcerated
a day late and a dollar short
does not necessarily mean you're pregnant unless you've just been stupid and bought your pregnancy test at Dollar Tree
he who laughs last
is probably a dumbass fuck
turn the other cheek
but, only if your bathing suit is not riding up your ass
crack
life is like a box of chocolates
until you find the thumbprint of everyone who has already squished it, exposing the filling
give a man a fish, you feed him for a day
teach him how to fish and he'll scrape the ocean floor, destroy the sea
all we have to fear is
us
Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright
they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender
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Author's Note
Walking my geriatric Golden Retriever, Beau. The Cheap Trick song, "Surrender", (writer Rick Neilson) had been swirling through my mind...don't know why, don't know how this stuff happens, or why. Listen to "Surrender" , softly, in the background while you read this!
Cheap Tricks lyrics, courtesy of Rick Neilson.
Other stories by Kitty Boots
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So Beau is your muse!! I laffed all the way thru until I hit the fish/fear finale. Brilliant, Kitty. You punched this over the fence!
*, Kitty. I love your humor here.
Love this. Even though you had surrender in mind for this, funny enough, as I was reading I'll never fall in love again kept coming to mind, with it's wry take on typical love song conventions. By the way, I think I might start incorporating "all that glitters is not booty dust" into everyday conversation. With due credit
Brilliant. My favorite the proper serving of revenge. *
wonderfully blunt
Thank you, Matt. Beau is one of my muses, that old dog has taught me a lot.
Thank you, David. Most of my stuff is serious and I have been accused of lacking a sense of humor, but we know that's not true!
Thank you, Beate! When you slave over a dish, it's only proper to serve it up correctly!
Thank you, Indie!
Thank you, Ivan! Please incorporate "all that glitters"...and I'd love to hear about the reactions!
I have a poem like this too, but yours is MUCH superior! Brava!
*
Thank you, Bill. I'd love to see your poem, always enjoy your work.
Booty dust? Don't know exactly what that is but I can make an imaginative leap. Great little piece, no pun intended.
"he who laughs last
is probably a dumbass fuck"
This is truly deserving of a LOL! *
Thank you, Dianne.
He, he...thanks, Tim.
"a day late and a dollar short
does not necessarily mean you're pregnant unless you've just been stupid and bought your pregnancy test at Dollar Tree" made me snort-laugh against my better judgment.
Way late getting here, but this is a smash, mash-up funny-clever piece. And a crack-up bite in the ass poem: lol, muchly!