by Kim Conklin
Humpty Dumpty sat on a fault.
Humpty Dumpty had a great shock.
All of the king's men
Now have to take stock.
“I don't know what you mean by ‘safe,' ” Alice said.
Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don't—till I tell you. I meant ‘there's a nice knock-down argument for you!' ”
“But 'safe' doesn't mean ‘a nice knock-down argument'!”
“When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”
“The question is whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master that's all. Words have a temper, some of them—particularly verbs—adjectives you can do anything with—however, I can manage the whole lot! Impenetrability!”
“Would you tell me, please, what that means?"
“Now you talk like a reasonable child. I meant by ‘impenetrability' that we've had enough of that subject.”
“But does 'safe' mean 'free from harm'?”
“It means that it's generally regarded as meeting the legal standard of safety by the current panel of experts upon evidence published and compiled by the industry in question, but the standard changes depending on conditions and the ability of said industry to meet it.”
“That's an awful lot for one word to mean,” Alice began, but she didn't have a chance to finish her sentence, for a heavy crash shook the forest from end to end.
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For the 52/250 broken shells theme. Published in the final 52/250 quarterly.
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Great update!
Captured the Lewis Carrol feel very nicely.
Nice version. I like it.
You say "cod filet." I say "pizzafish." It's all synamticks, ya' know?
This does not bode well for the egg. Fave.
Thanks very much Bill, Frankie, Sam and James!
Yes, yes. We're leaving it all up to said industry as we fall. Nicely done, Kim.
Thanks, Lou!
I like this take, this tone, the dialogue. Everything, really.
Thanks, Foster!
Incredible satire. You have been paying attention, haven't you? Do you read the Congressional Record or just the reports of the antics of our elected officials in the NY Times?
*
This reads like a subcommittee transcript, and I believe ol' Humpty himself is a regular testifier. *
Thanks Jack and Christian!
Jack, I try to pay attention, but given the double-speak, it can be challenging!
Christian, love the image of Humpty at the witness table! What a scene that would be!
Excellent! Love every word of this.
Thanks, Darryl!
I loved this when I read it at 52/250 and even more on the second read here! I also admire the use of characters out of context, or slightly in, but satirized or shredded with irony. You do this style incredibly well. Big fan! *
Thank you, Robert! Glad you liked it!
fun read. : )
wonderful. not sure if this is metafiction or not. perhaps it's a genre of its own...
Belated thanks for the comments and fave, Jo and Marcus! Don't know how I missed them!
Way cool!
Thanks, Beate!!