Migrant Workers
by Katie Norton
Emma pushes through the door of the corner market, aiming briskly for her car, keys in one hand, grocery bag in the other, shoulder bag slung. Best not to make eye contact with the loitering boozers and bikers from the bar next door.
Double take. Can't avoid this mess, parked right next to her car: 1970s GMC Suburban listing on a flat tire, like none she has ever seen, rubber completely worn away, the tire nothing but white threads. The other three tires on their last legs too. A Caucasian family, dreadlocked down to their waist every one of them, even the toddler, clusters around the vehicle. Pot trimmers, rolling into town, happens every year at harvest time in Mendocino County. Daddy drove that death trap on the freeway. A girl, about five, looks old beyond her years, huge brown eyes wary.
Calm, sweet-faced, lovely, dreadlocked Mrs. approaches Emma. “Do you know where we can get a tire around here?” Too smiley, not right, not the least bit perturbed at a vehicle breakdown in a strange town. With small children. They need so much more than one tire.
“There's a service station that sells tires about a mile and a half up the road.” Emma jerks her head in the direction of the gas station as she opens her car door, gets in and drives away. The eyes of the five-year old girl follow her.
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Author's Note
Slice of life from Mendocino County, 2010.
Other stories by Katie Norton
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good slice, well observed, makes hungry for more. appreciated the alliteration apalooza: "Best not to make eye contact with the loitering boozers and bikers from the bar".
I really enjoyed this, Katie -- they need so much more than one tire. and the child's eyes - well done.
Finely observed, Katie. Well done.
the voice, imagery, and lanaguage is perfect - excellent story-telling here. *
"language"
Terse, no frills, powerful. A skillfully crafted vignette.
A five-year-old with wary eyes; Mrs. is too smiley: heartbreaking. This is very strong. Thank you for sharing it.
Good story. Which theme is this?
Thank you for the nice comments everyone. Fictionaut is helping me find my voice as a writer. Loving it! Reading everyone else's work is making me want to write more.
Katie, this reminds me of a Joy Williams story I can't remember the title of right now. But you do what she did in her story and that is convey this family in trouble, very subtly, through the observations of the narrator. In her story, the narrator becomes involved with the family in efforts to help them. Anyway, I love the perceptiveness of this:
"Too smiley, not right, not the least bit perturbed at a vehicle breakdown in a strange town. With small children. They need so much more than one tire."
Terrific sense of place. I'll do that annoying thing and say that I think this could be a longer story. You have me very curious about these people and what happens next. *
Katie, This is wonderful. I would love to read more about these migrant workers--or this kind of migrant worker--in Humboldt County. Such a vivid portrait. I feel like I'm there.
I also meant to say that I think this is more than a "slice"! *
I like the unexpectedness, the play on stereotypes. With a California setting and the title, white hippies was not what I thought it would be about. Nice work.
I just found this , Katie, and glad I did. I like the way you distill whole worlds into one quick glimpsed scene. I agree that this seems potential as part of, or maybe the trigger to, a long work.
Such a fleeting few moments, but so telling. Loved the connection with the little girl -- nice ending.
Very nice. I was there with Emma, but I was there with the dreadlocked as well.
I enjoyed this. Title sets it up so well. "Pot trimmers" , there's a new job description. Nice touch all around.
Very evocative, tense piece. Liked this very much.
I do like this slice as well. Terse descriptions, very tight, economical use of language. I, too am drawn to this passage: "Too smiley, not right, not the least bit perturbed at a vehicle breakdown in a strange town. With small children. They need so much more than one tire." So much in there...