Greet Death
by Jowell Tan
where are you now?
i'm floating in an undefined space,
characterised by an abscence of light.
how are you feeling?
things are getting better, parts are slowly moving together.
what are you anticipating?
air, food, water - the usual things, plus all the other bonus stuff you guys keep talking about when you think i'm not listening.
who will you become?
whoever i shall grow into is the person i shall become. shall i not become myself?
when will you arrive?
a light will come on, a steady beat will start. and i will enter your lives with much kicking and screaming, as my similars do.
And it will be a glorious time.
(As these things usually are.)
i'm floating in an undefined space,
characterised by an abscence of light.
how are you feeling?
things are getting better, parts are slowly moving together.
what are you anticipating?
air, food, water - the usual things, plus all the other bonus stuff you guys keep talking about when you think i'm not listening.
who will you become?
whoever i shall grow into is the person i shall become. shall i not become myself?
when will you arrive?
a light will come on, a steady beat will start. and i will enter your lives with much kicking and screaming, as my similars do.
And it will be a glorious time.
(As these things usually are.)
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Author's Note
Inspired by the Explosions in The Sky song of the same name, this takes the form of an imagined call-and-response of a future father speaking to his yet-unborn child through his wife's womb while she sleeps.
Other stories by Jowell Tan
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I think it is better without the preceding questions, How's this?
I'm floating in
an undefined space,
characterised by
an abscence of light,
things are getting better,
parts are slowly moving together.
I'm anticipating air, food, water.
Plus all the other stuff
you keep talking about when you think I am not listening.
Whoever I shall grow into
is the person I shall become.
I will arrive
when a light comes on,
I will enter your lives
kicking and screaming, it
will be a glorious time!
Jowell, this is nicely imagined. I love the concept of this. It reminds me of the line from Psalm 139: "You created me and you know my innermost being. \ You knit me together in my mother's womb." Might make a good epigraph for this.
I like Sam's suggestion. I would also say maybe consider more concrete images to replace words or phrases like "things" or "parts." Something more visual might draw out even more emotion here.
Beautifully done! **
Clever and fun.
"shall i not become myself?"
Interesting question.
Enjoyed.