Please Do Not Blame Me

You know that I tried my best

with what resources I have.

 

If love were a resource,

I'd be the poorer one.

 

You'd mine it

for everyone.

 

Meanwhile, I'd steady myself

with you,

 

your blame

my constant source.

 

I don't know the way.

I was blind like everyone

 

in love was.  I felt with all

my parts the way to you,

 

the ruggedness of a heart

I stumbled to pretend.

 

But I did not pretend.

I was disappointed with love,

 

and like everyone else,

stammered out of love

 

into a place horrified

with meaning.

 

And you were the understanding

I left behind.  You were the nature

 

of this love. Only, I felt it

when I left you—all my leaving

 

returned like a gathering,

a hesitation considered.

 

Everything I made of you

I unmade with my mind.

 

You answered with whatever

I did not give. That you were

 

not closed to my wishes,

and that you were not waiting.