by Jill Chan
Love cannot pay for everything even if you try. Love can only help you live.
And she's dying like someone who's tried living and failed.
But she's been grateful—she's been so all her life.
Now she must stop paying for it. She must live up to her life. She must be a success to herself.
But it is her insecurity about her work, about money running out someday that keeps her working. That keeps her practicing her art. It's still just all in her head but she's practicing. For the moment in the future when she's going to come through. When she's going to want to turn away from this life. Into another that's full of eagerness and hope. Hope that it is not just the morning coffee that counts but the way you make it count. Of how you don't drink it but nonetheless will if you need it enough.
How some things continue while you continue. Above all, how some things stop while you continue.
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This is an excerpt only. The full story is collected in Phone Call and Other Prose Writings available as a free e-book here:
http://en.calameo.com/books/00506388215ef7624f6ed
Thank you very much.
I read somewhere that a chemically induced hallucinogenic "trip" that seems to last hours is sparked by the fragment of a second the chemical does its thing. This excerpt took several seconds to read, but the trip it provoked will last at least all day. Thanks!
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Thanks Mathew and Adam.
Mathew, your comments are enlightening. I enjoyed writing this story. It was kind of a trip for me, the writing of it.
Adam, thanks.
Thank you, Jill. I recognize this. Well put, well written. :)
Especially this - "But it is her insecurity about her work, about money running out someday that keeps her working. That keeps her practicing her art. It's still just all in her head but she's practicing."
Each time pen moves over paper or our fingers tap the keys new worlds are created. And we practice - and practice.
I like this piece. *
Love the last line.
Will check out the full piece.
Thank you Christina, Sam, and Bill. Appreciate your words.
My ears deceive or I hear an ironic pun on "currency", being current, and recurrence.
If I'm only imputing, then I'd also impute the implied ending I hear: "how some things continue once you've stopped".
Glad to've timed with my morning coffee, too! Good work.
"And she's dying like someone who's tried living and failed."
Such a simple sentence but with so much power.
Enjoyed this! *
What Charlotte said. Lovely work! **
Thank you, strannikov. That's what's so good about writing. There are so many ways to be meaningful. Thanks for the considered comment.
Thanks, Charlotte. I'm glad you enjoyed.
Thanks, Rachna. Appreciate it.
Beautiful, assured writing.
'And she's dying like someone who's tried living and failed.'
What a wonderful line and such perceptive writing.
Thank you, Darryl and Ellie. Thank you for your time. Much appreciated.