The Winter's Too Warm for Bears to Sleep

The winter's too warm for the bears to sleep,

and they get up in the middle of the night

with insomnia and wander about the streets

in their pajamas, knocking over garbage cans,

looking for a midnight snack of some kind.

 

They're getting kind of ornery.

Jump into cars and start driving around

with a huge furry elbow hanging out the window,

trying all manner of talk to pick up some lonely

girl bears hanging out on the corner

with their parts all hanging out and such.

 

Smoking cigarettes and fish. Catching up

on the latest bear gossip. Doing their best

to ignore the bear or cat calls coming from the cars

passing by, like a line of big bear pimps, yelling,

“Yo, girl, show me some of that fine fur!”

Lighting up a doobie the size of a caveman's club.