Can I Get a New To-Do List

by Jerry Ratch

I got a male bouffant hairdo like Trump

I can't wait to develop patience

And the next time I have a ringing in my head

I'm not going to answer it

Can I Get a New To-Do List?


I tried changing my name to Richard Vixen

Until the State Dept. took notice, and offense!

Then the President's wife started a new phrase around the country:

Just don't do it again!

Which really caught on

Can I Get a New To-Do List?


These were inauspicious times

When any hobo with a beaver

Could become a tree-trimmer

I can't tell you why I don't attend poetry readings anymore

Don't get me started

But Can I Get a New To-Do List?


I already got a bucket list

But don't need a bucket

And in fact don't want one anywhere near me

So I don't accidentally kick it

I just need a new To-Do list


Last night I heard 3 shots in the night, at 5 a.m.

Who's up at 5 a.m. shooting off their gun?

Get to bed already

Enough of shooting people

Get some rest

Get a new To-Do list like me


I'm Fed Up with Godot

I'm Waiting for Lunch

So can I get a new To-Do list, please?