by Jake Barnes
My Dad was in his casket wearing a spiffy suit. His pale face was rouged. He looked as natural as he was going to look, except for his hair. He had wavy hair; they combed it straight.
I raised hell. I brought a photo and they got it right. At the funeral he looked almost the way he looked in life, a big man with big appetites, some of which went unsatisfied.
When we got home after the service at the graveyard, my mother sat in a corner of the sofa and cried. “What am I going to do?” she wailed. “I'll have to get a job.”
She leaked tears the rest of afternoon. We ate a supper made from the leftovers brought over by the good people of the town. That evening she sat on sofa and sniffled and twisted her handkerchief with her fingers. I decided it wasn't the right time to show her the picture I found upstairs in a box of old photo albums in the den, a black and white photograph of a woman in a bathing suit.
I didn't recognize the woman, and I thought my mother might know who she was.
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I love a mystery.
Brilliant!
Another solid piece of writing, Jake. You capture the emotional impact well.
Absolute perfection--the way you told this story.
Excellent. *
"At the funeral he looked almost the way he looked in life, a big man with big appetites, some of which went unsatisfied." Great ambiguity in this line and throughout the story. Love.*
This is a fine piece, Jake. The opening is excellent. The writing moves well.
Keep em coming.
"the picture I found upstairs in a box of old photo albums in the den, a black and white photograph of a woman in a bathing suit."
Your dad. My dad. Cheez, what is it with these dads? he asked, rhetorically.
*
This is the most perfect snapshot anyone can imagine.*