2010; What I Wanted
by Erin Zulkoski
Hi. It's me, Erin. We didn't have the best twelve months together, did we? In short, I thought you sucked. There. I said it. 2010, I thought you were the absolute worst year on record and I wanted you to die in a thousand horrific ways. Here is a list of all the things I wanted in you, but you denied me:
I wanted to kill him, and in the process, myself.
I wanted to fit into the size smaller jeans I bought.
I wanted to get caught in my lies.
I wanted The Colts to win the Super Bowl.
I wanted to drink my pain away.
I wanted Conan O'Brien to kick Jay Leno's ass.
I wanted a miracle.
I wanted Corey Haim to live forever.
I wanted to take back ever knowing him, let alone marrying him.
I wanted Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds to reconcile.
I wanted to be told this wasn't my fault.
It's a simple list, 2010. Pretty straight-forward and honest, but yet, only a few of these things happened. What gives? I'd like an explanation, please.
As The Rolling Stones said, "you can't always get what you want," and fortunately, in your case especially, that's sometimes a good thing.
While I'm sorry The Saints won the Super Bowl, those jeans remain unworn, Mr. Haim met his untimely demise, and ScarJo and RyRy did end up staying broken up. However, you, my dear friend, are still here. You did not succumb to the drinking, as much as I know you wanted to. You did not give in to your desire to end it all, and by doing so, you unknowingly satisfied one of your own wants.
Now, I know things have been less-than-favorable for you, and for that I do apologize, but I'd like you to take a look at yourself right now. Look at what you've become, and look at where you're going. I expect nothing but greatness from you, and seeing how you toughed it out and weathered me, I have no doubt this will happen.
So, until then, take care.
P.S. I REALLY wanted Coco to bust Leno's face in, but I let karma handle that one. She really can be a bitch sometimes.