by David James
I always wanted to head on up to New York City and be taught by a decent painter, but as time kept on trucking, it became clear that that was just a big dream that would not shake out and I'd never be a real artist because I was shy of the money I'd need to stay up there in New York City, so it was with a pronounced bitterness that I knuckled under to reality and went back to work at the plant like every other loser son-of-a-bitch in town where many others also birthed dreams of fame, country music or some goddamn thing, entering their lives to allow an escape from our shrinking, little, pissant town down here on the edge of the Bogue Chitto swamp and I always caution the kids to be careful and go slow because unrealized dreams die so hard.
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More messing around with single sentence stuff. Carved out of a longer story.
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"go slow because unrealized dreams die so hard." ***
Whoa! This is terrific! ***
This is not just the narrator's voice, it is the voices of so many people. There's a song lyric somewhere about walking the road of broken dreams. Maybe the trick is to skip down it instead of looking back. *
Damn, and I've always dreamed of seeing the Bogue Chitto swamp! *
I'd like to read the longer story, too.
Wonderfully brutal.*
Shit happens. It's the frequency not the duration...
Yup. Diggin' it.
Thanks for reading this, folks.
Very good, David. Surely you've a manuscript's worth by now. If you've not thinking in that direction, you need to.
Good one, David. Moves deftly to a strong end.
*
Sam, Bill, thanks for read and kind comments.
A place where having a dream is a kind of dumb old hobby.
Good read. *
I knuckled under to reality
As we do, sadly. Good piece. I love the last line.
Hard hitting truths.*
Thanks, Rene, Sara and Gary.
Hits close to home, David. *
Yes. *
I like the way this voice is truly your voice, I hear you saying it while reading it. You use comma splices in ways that nobody else does...these days, you create a rhythm, from them.. and as usual this has a gritty, sarcastic edge.
Thanks to rest of you for reading this. Yes, to using the comma splices even though Messrs. Strunk and White doubtless have a special place waiting for me in Hell. I use comma splices for 2 reasons: 1. I try to do a single sentence story as if it is being relayed orally rather than written, and 2. because I don't know how to use semicolons.
:(