things I don't
understand might
kiss my eyelids
while I sleep
yesterday
saw a balloon
full of drugs
sail out a van
while a squad car
full of cops
fired missing
shots
if you or someone you love
errs to the unknown
please step forward
with your mouth
wide open tongue
wagging out
tuesday, home
hope to get
high with my
wife if that
balloon touches
down in our yard
marks from
zipping bullets
rubbings of
renegade clouds
still indented
did I ever tell you
her hair
smells like
coconuts
and so does
her eyebrows
and the van
is still
parked
beside
the overpass.
Great last line.
I think I saw this van. Or maybe I was just dreaming I saw it.*
*There's such a compelling combination of the rough and the sweet in this.
Without a doubt this is the first I've agreed with Nonnie about ANYthing. Sweet and rough. And compelling. You nailed it, Nonnie. *
"rubbings of
renegade clouds
still indented"
Nice.*
*, Bud. Excellent poem. Daniel got to my favorite line first.
"rubbings of
renegade clouds
still indented"
*
rough + sweet = Bud
You can see that winning combo in all his work.
Coconuts!
*
*, Bud. Nice work.
This stuff really sings to me, amazing:
"if you or someone you love
errs to the unknown
please step forward
with your mouth
wide open"
"did I ever tell you
her hair
smells like
coconuts
and so does
her eyebrows"
Good stuff *
Love this. ***
Maybe you or Darryl or Bill would know this: Is it called caesura? Is that the space within a line? Enjambment the curl of space at the end? This poem with its briefest lines achieves these spaces. *