Ajloun Castle
by Bill Yarrow
You, my little cat, are brisk and fluid
I, like an owl, am stiff and staid
You clambered up the rocks and held out your arms
The wind in a swoosh came up behind you
Incredulous, I watched you fall
You did not see me looking
as you stood placid, impassive
looking out over the cardamom hills
but then the wind mistook your arms for wings
and, helpless, I watched you fall
Horrified, I watched you fall
through the future and into the past,
past your family, past your accolades,
past your handsome penchant for reconciliation
into the universal solvent of your confidence
I saw you dashed upon low stones!
I saw you bounce into the sea!
I saw you sink into inky velvet!
My tragedy is that my imagination
pictures all the facets of disaster
But you see only soaring
and that is your invincible gift
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Author's Note
This poem was published in Eunoia Review.
Thanks, Ian Chung.
"Ajloun Castle" appears in THE VIG OF LOVE (Glass Lyre Press, 2016).
I'd take away the "the" in the facets of disaster line. Perfect as it can be otherwise.
Very good. (I used "very" advisedly--deliberately, knowing full well it is frowned upon by the priests of high style. This poem impressed me that much.) *
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Well done.
"My tragedy is that my imagination / pictures all the facets of disaster / But you see only soaring / and that is your invincible gift"
That. Is. Poetry.*
"pictures all the facets of disaster." that's quite an imagination.*
Thank you, SDR, Matt, Sam, Amanda, and Gary H and Gary P for your kind and helpful comments.
Nice:
My tragedy is that my imagination
pictures all the facets of disaster
But you see only soaring
and that is your invincible gift
Very fine, Bill, especially liked the gripping images/metaphors of:
Horrified, I watched you fall
through the future and into the past,
past your family, past your accolades,
past your handsome penchant for reconciliation
into the universal solvent of your confidence
Thank you, Steven and Ed.
Sweet and pure, anointing the reader with beauty and interesting challenges along the way.
Thank you, Darryl.
The title made me look up "Ajlun Castle" and I learnt something - both about the place and time and about brilliant titles. **
Thanks you, Marcus. I was fortunate to get to Jordan a few years ago. Some amazing sites there!