by Ann Bogle
Evelyn is 42. I listen as she explains that her “heart goes out to her”—to the woman whose husband she's stealing; there's no credit in that, I say, maybe in heaven. I listen as if to a speech by Obama. She could get a job that way, but I know she's afraid to be hired. She relies on our mother and calls her arts and crafts minor.
A friend of Evelyn's has canceled plans for the evening, and I am her fall back. We sip the beer I brought. I look at the flowering pots she's seeded on the balcony. She says she's glad she grew up in a liberal faith.
The handsome French husband's slender American wife lives with the two boys in a Victorian house across town. He calls it a marriage for Immigration. He takes Evelyn rock climbing. I take up his side when I hear he's a romantic.
The American wife and Evelyn know people in common who send Evelyn angry messages. They're angry because they thought they knew her. They are New Age. Hell is unsketched in the notebook of New Age people. “There's a balance in heaven for mistresses,” I say, thinking “mistress” could be a pride word, but Evelyn admits to no name, only to love for the neighbors.
“If 'neighbor' applies to women who covet—'deliriously desire'—husbands from Angers, then one day he'll be your husband's neighbor," I say.
11
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On the theme "cartography" for 52/250 due June 6, 2010, 246 words including title.
Published in Thrice Fiction, 2011.
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A gem.
Creative use of the prompt. I especially like the last paragraph. One line in particular: "Hell is unsketched in the notebook of New Age people."
LOVE this (and the title works really well, too)
well, there you go--
so fine.
Ann, this is quite wonderful. I'm always at a loss to say much more about your stories which awe me
So well done Ann, and I love just the bit of underlying sibling-ness in it. That Evelyn relies on their mother, calls her arts and crafts minor, that the narrator has brought beer. The push-pull between narrator's just this side of judgmental yet she takes up the French husband when she learns he's romantic.
So terrific to read.
Cherise picked up on it, the passive aggressive sibling rivalry that threads through the story just below the surface. That tad of jealousy perhaps that one is living the other's dreams. Beautifully done.
A real jewel. "...thy neighbor as thyself." Sure. Great story, Ann. Fav.
Ann, this is great. I especially love the tone of your matter-of-fact first line, "Evelyn is 42." It pulled me in.
Well done. There's a lot going on under the surface here, yet you give us just what we need.
Wow, so much conveyed in so few words. I also grooved on 'Hell is unsketched in the notebook of New Age people.' Peace...
amazing opening...the entire relational framework in that first paragraph...I'm with Matthew and Linda and triple the love for: Hell is unsketched in the notebook of New Age people.
Thanks to the readers of this miniature sex opera. For me it is something about which I feel ignorant of knowing; it's satisfying to turn it over a few times in my hand.
I was away for a week, Ann - R&R - and just returned this weekend. Excellent opening here. Wonderful piece. Strong writing style. I like this piece.
Wonderfully done! strong navigating of the faultlines of ethics.
been meaning to comment here for a while now -- this piece does so much with tension in such a short space, Ann; I really admire the way you manage that, especially with such a controlled tone. And phrases like
'there's no credit in that, I say, maybe in heaven.'
and ideas like
'Hell is unsketched in the notebook of New Age people.'
are so finely tuned, they make me come back and read this piece again and again. Really like all that is happening here, and it's a hell of a lot.