Snake, Rope
by Ajay Nair
It was a snake, was a rope, was a snake. When it slipped off the roof, unable to grip the smooth surface, she knew that it'd come to her in its nervous helplessness. She was lying naked on the ancient bed in the ancient house, waiting for her lover, seduction on her mind. The snake was fang-less and so had to choke her, making the kill bloodless and drawn out, just the way she liked it. As her breath - scented assiduously with the right flavor of spice - left her, she tried to hold a smile for her soon-to-arrive lover. It would not do to depart without grace.
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Very nicely done. The mix of death and eroticism is deftly handled. Really liked the last line.
Thanks Cherise, for the read.
Really nicely done Ajay! Great images and the last line is perfect. Thanks for the a good first read of the day, brother!
Really nicely done Ajay! Great images and the last line is perfect. Thanks for the a good first read of the day, brother!
vurnaice, Ajay.
Enjoyed this, Ajay. "It would not do to depart without grace." Good work.
Thanks Michael, Matt, Sam.
Good one, Ajay. I like the questions it leaves in the reader's mind.
Thanks Susan. Wanted to keep it stripped down to as little as possible.
Brilliant last line. Original and intriguing piece.
Kudos to the mystery! An excellent read. I'd change it to "seduction on her mind" - just because that's the more common usage.
Thanks Jack, as always.
Thanks Elizabeth. And a good catch that, changed.
Nice one, Ajay. Great imagery, great word economy, intriguing!
Great piece, and that last line is really really GOOD. I did not like "assiduously" -- I think it can do without it, because of the "right". But I might be wrong.
Love this.
Oh, and the TITLE is perfect.
Thanks Christian. Glad you enjoyed this.
Michelle, thank you. I though long and hard about assiduously and ultimately opted to keep it in. I can see its clunk-i-ness though. The title echoes Love, Story nicely, eh? Have always liked the form of how a title with some duality reads. Thanks for reading.
Nice story. Full of tension and mystery. Great last line.
Thanks Matthew.