Beyond Steps that Falter
by Tim G. Young
It's a trick to try and say this
It's not easy creating a list
which might reveal my true intentions
or open the door to even more questions
but since I'm moving in that direction
I'd like to buy a little more protection
It makes me wish sometimes
I should have become a spy
working for my country
embedded in the FBI
entangled in certain developments
way beyond my control
but able to survive a Blitzkrieg
and its agonizing toll
But now if you're looking at me
what is it you really see
An image inside a shadow
A stream whose depth is shallow
Or a soldier in a starring role
a man who won but sold his soul
or a bird in sky singing the blues
a deer trapped in my headlights
with no idea what to do
And the women all around me
in their perfect pretty dresses
align themselves like peacocks
losing their feathers losing their senses
But if I'm really on my own then I'm
dancing with my mother
So I might indulge in my victory or
I might stand still and shudder
I might wish I was anything
other than I really am
I might wish I was logic
a current flowing over a dam
I might wish I was a hurricane
blowing like I was going to die tomorrow
I might wish I was a piece of flesh
quivering in the rain and sorrow
I might wish I was anything
including some dust on the shelf
where maybe I might blow away
unseen like the coming of rust
Or maybe all my wishes
were just crumbs out on the trail
where I could barely ever find them
but might lead me down
along a shiny silver rail
But no I'm only an elegant liar
based in the depths of my tracks
so involved with the industry of it all
that I would find it impossible
to even think of looking back
Yes it's only looking forward
that makes the most sense in my brain
and so I've put my list in motion
and hope I'm never asked to explain.
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Thanks Jerry. The new lyric will get attention this week.
lovely ebb and flow to this, musicality, and imagery*
"ebb and flow" Thank you Gary.
Gently reflective tone. Has a healing feel. *
Well done.
Yes, I like 'reflective.' Much appreciated Mathew and Gary H.
Rhythmically compelling. As a reader, I'm sucked in and carried along.
The center of the poem for me is it's literal middle--the middle stanza (stanza 4 out of 7) about the women ("losing their feathers losing their senses"). That's the pivot around which the rest of the poem swirls.
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So thoughtful of you, Bill. As a writer, I do strive for the prospect of being carried along . Thank you.
I believe this is my favorite thing of yours. It reads very nicely in my mind and has a relatable message as well. *
Thank you Emily. it's always a pleasure to have your here!