Martini
She drinks a chocolate martini. I fold myself up and slide into her pocket. There I join the others. We seven in her pocket talk animatedly about space, travel and the topologies of her breasts. She pays us no mind. We organize an expedition to the opening in her shirt. We want to slide around her skin. We climb carefully in a column. When she brushes us off her hand comes like a storm. Airborne I open myself to her length. My hand hovers just over her stomach. I disappear into details. She drinks a chocolate martini. She does not know my name.
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Author's Note
In which our hero sees a number and briefly entertains the hope of getting lucky only to find that situational momentum is a problem.
Other stories by stephen hastings-king
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This is fabulous, Stephen. (I reckon it could stop at 'disappear into details' though. But that's just me.)
Particularly loved:
We seven in her pocket talk animatedly about space, travel and the topologies of her breasts.
and
We organize an expedition to the opening in her shirt.
*
Quite nice, indeed.
has a hint of that repetition found in your piece Substitution.
lovely, imaginative - the seven dwarves exploring snow white.
thanks very much for the readings and comments. i'm pleased you like it.
snow white indeed.
I didn't comment upon Submission but found it interesting.
This one is maybe, 'enthralling'? I found it very involving and re-read it several times.
Enjoyed.
Reminds me of those comic vintage illustrations of flappers toying with tiny swains. Very nice.
good stuff, Hastings-king. *
thanks for the reads and comments. i'm pleased that you like.
Quite an imagination.
An amazing moment in this piece: "My hand hovers just over her stomach. I disappear into details." Everything works here. Nice compression.
Agree with Sam. compression is a great way to put it. I really like your final line.
She does not know my name.
Nice.
thanks very much for the reads and comments.
yep, Steve, another fave. I am just now getting to these 'older' stories this am, and what a pleasure to re-read this one (for the fourth or fifth time).
The sounds here --
"We want to slide around her skin. We climb carefully in a column."
followed by the image here --
"When she brushes us off her hand comes like a storm."
are in such perfect contrast to one another.
Also love "disappear into details" -- which is the best thing I've read all morning.
* indeed